Wednesday, September 9, 2015

He hit me first…

Family order…or’s your brother’s fault.

Duffy Brown here. I have four kids

all grown and all totally different. I wondered about this different thing. After all they had the same parents so it had to be something I ate during pregnancy? The music I listened to? Books I read?

Maybe but my kids say it’s because there are four of them and their placement in the family is why they turned out the way they did. Actually I think it’s that they love blaming each other and here we go again.

Anyway, it seems that if you are the oldest sibling you seek your parents approval more than your brothers and sisters, you are conservative, obey the rules, you are organized, suck at delegating work, like to be in charge and do well in school and you are the family organizer.

Well dang! That is my oldest daughter Emily. She is all these thing along with being the third parent to the other three. Oh how they love that!

So if that’s the oldest child what happens to the middle kids? It seems they are relaxed (let me tell you, the oldest is never relaxed!). The middle kid is a diplomat, easily persuaded, first to leave home (that’s because the oldest drives them nuts). The middle child is often unconventional, outgoing, knows how to get along, creative, relates to others and champions the underdog...probably because they have had that position way too often.

Well I’ll be...that’s my middle kids. The relaxed thing doesn’t quite fit...none of us know how to relax...but they are incredible creative and did leave home and somehow had enough diplomacy not to strangle their older sister.

Then there is the last born. Okay, what can be left if you are the last one out. It seems the youngest kid is more dependent on others to get stuff done, outgoing, disorganized, rebellious, are risk-takers, easily disappointed and should be given a gold medal for not strangling their siblings who had to dive them nuts over the years.

And yes, my youngest does have a lot of those characteristics but she is also a high achiever and creative as all get-out. So it doesn’t quite work for her as much as her siblings.

So what about you? Do these traits fit you and your sibling order in your family or your kids? Or are kids just kids no matter when they are born? What do you think?


Anonymous said...

There are 3 of us, and my mom often couldn't figure out how she had three such different kids when she thought she had raised us the same. I'm the oldest and like to be in charge. However, I am not conservative and was the kid giving the answers in school. Then when my sister came along 2 years later, the teachers expected her to be like me but, instead, she hated being called on and talking in class. She's knew the answers but didn't want to talk. My brother, the youngest, is very organized, ran his own business as well as owning numerous rental properties, and was the one who moved to our hometown during Mom's last years so someone could be there to make medical and financial decisions. We are different but we are all politically liberal and high achievers. Cordella

Gram said...

My youngest of 4 is also a high achiever, creative and a hard worker.

Duffy Brown said...

What a terrific family. I think the position in the family does matter because often might makes right and the oldest rules the roost. LOL

Duffy Brown said...

Hi, Gram. Same with my youngest. My oldest seems to fit this more than the youngest.

Annette N said...

Duffy, you are right on the money with me and with my children. And it is a nice thing to know that none of us are any crazier than other normally crazy people.

Carrie Datema said...

I am the middle child but from the descriptions it seems like I should have been the first born. I am very organized, always wanted my parents approval, I did well in school, and obeyed the rules. I am not very outgoing, I don't know how to relax, but I do root for the underdog and can be very creative. So I guess there are exceptions to the rules. With my own children I only have two girls and the youngest is 15 months, so I don't see much of her except she can be a risk taker even at 15 months.

Maggie Sefton said...

I've got four daughters but they came out in two sets of two. About 8 years apart. So No 1 definitely fits that, but so do #3 and #4, the youngest. The way I describe them is they are all "Kick-Ass girls."

Unknown said...

We had an unconventional family. The oldest boy was raised by out grandparents so he was an only child with 3 younger siblings. I was the oldest child at home and the only girl with an older brother. I have a lot of the characteristics of the oldest but the youngest boy was the highest achiever if the 4 kids.