Sunday, May 10, 2015

You Either Are One or You Have/Had One

by Leann

It's May and in our family, this month is packed with celebrations. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, you name it. Many of us are either Taurus or Gemini and we also have relatives who have passed born in this month.

For instance, my late mother was born in May and so was my sister. I was born on my grandmother's birthday at the end of the month. Then a son-in-law joined us and he was also born in May. And I must add that my very first novel was published in May the same week my son was married. Coincidence? I don't know, but there's a lot going on!!

My mother passed away many, many years ago from complications of alcoholism. I can honestly say I don't miss her. It was a rough time growing up. She and my father moved to Brazil for his job and she died there. I don't even know where she's buried--or if she was buried. It's like an unfinished book. None of this means I didn't love her or forgive her. I did. But I made sure my children had a mom who was 100% there for them. So, in the beginning I didn't know how to be a good mom but I found my way. I succeeded. I am close with my kids. We love each other very much. Mother's Day is a true celebration. Even if you didn't have the best mother, you all had one. It's a tough job and some of them fail. But I have come to believe that a child has unconditional love for their mother even though sometimes it's complicated.

Most of you out there probably were wonderful mothers because you were taught well! I applaud you and hope you have a fantastic day.

15 comments:

Robyn K said...

I hope you have a very Happy Mother's Day. Thank you for sharing. :)

Lynda Turpin said...

May has a tendency to make me a little down because I have a tendency to feel the loss of my mom more strongly. Her birthday and Mother's Day usually share the same week - and you can't get away from hearing about Mother's Day for weeks before the day. I have no kids myself (except for my furry ones), so the day is just more of something I prefer to get past.

But I think it's so great that you and your kids have a close relationship. Learning from the past to make the future better is a great legacy. And I've seen enough about your kids and grandkids to know that you passed on your lessons to them as well. Happy Mother's Day to you

mary kennedy said...

This is a wonderful blog, Leann. Have a happy Mother's Day, I know you treasure your wonderful relationship with your children. Have fun and relax (we both work too hard.)

Diane LaBrie Leverson said...

My Mom was as good a Mom as she knew how. I do miss her and love her. Being a Mom doesn't come with a handbook and you have to do the best you can. I love being a Mom and a Grandma even though I don't see them as much as I would like. They will be taking me out next weekend, which is fine with me. Just Pizza at my suggestion. Usually I am away at my Timeshare for Mother's Day so they are used to seeing me the next week. This year I'm going on a different week. Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all you Mother's out there. Make it a good day. I intend to by reading. LOL

Diane LaBrie Leverson said...

My Mom was as good a Mom as she knew how. I do miss her and love her. Being a Mom doesn't come with a handbook and you have to do the best you can. I love being a Mom and a Grandma even though I don't see them as much as I would like. They will be taking me out next weekend, which is fine with me. Just Pizza at my suggestion. Usually I am away at my Timeshare for Mother's Day so they are used to seeing me the next week. This year I'm going on a different week. Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all you Mother's out there. Make it a good day. I intend to by reading. LOL

Leann Sweeney said...

Thanks so much, Robyn!

Leann Sweeney said...

So sorry May is rough for you. But you learned to be a great mom to your kids because of your mother. She passed on something special. If those kitties could all buy you a mother's da card, you wouldn't have room for them all!

Leann Sweeney said...

Thanks so much, Mary. I just helped my daughter this weekend because she has a sick kitty and became worse after the vet visit. I told her it was probably the medication the vet ordered (which baffles me still!) and she took the kitty right back to that vet. Sure enough, that's what the problem was. But the original problem is still there. She's changing vets! :-)

Leann Sweeney said...

Happy Mother's Day, Diane! I know you are wonderful mom and grandmom! I'd go for pizza any day! Love that stuff! :-)

mary kennedy said...

Good luck with the kitty, Leann! We have two sick kitties here, so lots of vet visits on the horizon. In one case (Henry) it might just be allergies. I didn't even know that indoor cats could be trouble with allergies (?) but apparently they can. No idea what the treatment is. Taking Henry in first thing tomorrow morning.

Annette N said...

Leann, there are many of us out here who had mothers who were not interested in the job. I have tried to overcome the lack of knowledge about what is a good mom. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day. Hope your grandkitty gets better. You know it can be as difficult to find a wonderful vet as it might be to find a doctor who is a good fit for ourselves. Hope every Mother's Day is as lovely as pizza with those you love and who love you.

Anonymous said...

Leann---your blog was very powerful and made me cry. My dad was the alcoholic and gambler, but my mom was the strong one. An early feminist (equal pay for equal work), staunch Democrat in a very Republican community, and a traveler who always wanted to know what was beyond the mountains. She's been gone 10 years in August and mentally for about 5 years before that, but I still miss her. I'm so glad for you and your kids that you were determined not to be your mother.

And this is a note for Mary---Yes, indoor cats can have allergies. We tested Spats when he was very young and found 29 including all of the common flavors of food and brewer's yeast which is in most brands. Allergens are still in the air. For years I've given him two shots (subcu) a month plus buying special food from the vet which is very expensive.

I don't have kids but hope all of you who do have a great Mother's Day. Cordella

Leann Sweeney said...

Thanks Annette. It's a good day! And I will get a status update on poor kitty later today. She'll get a better doc since NYC is loaded with all sorts of good ones! Hope you have a wonderful day as well!

Leann Sweeney said...

Thanks Cordella! Looks like you hit the mom lottery. Celebrate her spirit.

Diane P said...

Some of us lost our mothers at a very young age & didn't have a good role model it made me try harder to do my best for my girls. Love, wisdom & just being there counts for a whole lot.