Thursday, April 9, 2015

Worst Birthday Ever!






My name is Daisy the Dachshund and here is my sad story. Get our your hankies. Yesterday was my twelfth birthday. That’s a lot in dog years.  Instead of having a wonderful cake with liver and chicken filling, I got to go to the vet.  





That’s right. THE VET!  That's where the people all look very nice and call you by your name and then they get you with something sharp when you let down your guard. I try to get as many treats as possible out of them before the pull that stunt.  But yesterday, no such luck.  My mom and dad took me.  And hold on to your hats, it gets worse.  

At the vet’s, I had dental work and X-rays and a scope up my nose. That’s what I heard after. I was doped at the time and unconscious.  Some kind of Mickey Finn.  

Mom said it’s not her fault. The vet had to reschedule and this was the Plan B day.  I didn’t get a vote.  I would have picked April 8, 2025 as Plan B. 

But no one asked me.  And I got no breakfast (on my birthday!!!!) and only half my dinner. That’s right. Half. My. Dinner. This was the worst birthday ever.
 
The only bright note was this one little squeaky toy. I already killed the squeak (five minutes - close to a record), but the toy makes a nice cushion, . 




I am thinking of running away from home as soon as there’s no more chance of ‘borrowing’ some of those Easter dinner leftovers when they’re making soup in the kitchen.

What? Yes, sure, Lily was at the vet too.  That’s right. She did have a fractured tooth extracted, a big tooth with three roots and one of these roots had a hook. She has stitches and painkillers. And she has to go back again next month for another one. 



But it was not her birthday, so really what’s the big deal?

I told Lily to pull herself together!
Anyway, don’t worry about her.  I’m still here, you know.

And if you want to help me, you could send treats! And squeakie toys! And soft blankies! We’re down to just eight blankies around this so-called house.  

 

And you know what?  I wouldn’t mind some kind of an incline plane so I can get to the fridge door. I’m pretty sure I could get it open if I could reach it. 

No, Lily. It's not your turn.   Well, I don't know when,

All to say, waiting to hear from you nice people.  Oops! Here comes Mom.  We're not allowed at the keyboard. Back to bed.

XO Daisy


Dear everyone:  I am so sorry about Daisy's naked bid for gifts. Now that she's learned to keyboard, it can be embarrassing.  Any training suggestions from you pet lovers?

MJ (feeling unaccountably guilty)


53 comments:

Anonymous said...

So MJ, are Daisy, Lily, and Peaches going to become the authors of your books? Daisy does seem to tell a good story. Poor doxies with all that dental work and poor you, literally, having to pay for it! My only suggestion: don't get the incline although the lack of opposable thumbs would probably still keep her out of the frig. Cordella

Malka E said...

suggestions? LOTS and LOTS of treats! (and a few more Fluffy Blankies)
Slurps! Citrine the Siberian p.s. POOR POOR Daisy!

Marina Sofia said...

Awww, it's a nightmare birthday scenario - Daisy has my full sympathy!

Jen Scott said...

Poor little Daisy! Sending you hugs. I hope more warm fuzzy blankets and cute toys show up for you.

Robyn K said...

Daisy, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, especially on your birthday. I hope you and your sister get better soon and you get lots of treats, warm fuzzy blankets and lots of toys. <3

Bernie Sammon said...

This only convinces me even more that Daisy and the corgis are related. Five minutes to kill the squeak, I'm sure Trouble would like a chance to better that.
Daisy I hope that you get to celebrate your birthday in a manner that is due to you, when you have recovered your strength after the Vet Trauma. Birthdays here, can last more than a week, you know.

mary kennedy said...

Oh no! Poor Daisy, I am so sorry your birthday was such a disaster. Why don't we schedule a "substitute" birthday for you and forget this one ever happened?? Lily looked very sweet and sympathetic. I bet she'd help us plan something. Feel better, Daisy!!

mary kennedy said...

Daisy, be very careful with squeaky toys. One of out friend's dogs ATE the little thing that squeaks and needed surgery. Just a reminder from someone who loves you!

Dawn Frazier said...

Poor Daisy! Maybe she could celebrate her birthday now? Feel better! Hugs!

Zita said...

I'm sending blankets right now! And a truck should be pulling up soon, full of toys, both squeaked and squeakless (variety is important)! Hang on, Daisy! Supplies are coming!

Sue said...

Poor Daisy! I think she should get a Plan B birthday week now.

Diane LaBrie Leverson said...

Oh Daisy, You poor baby! I'm so sorry you had such a bad birthday. Today will be better, I'm sure. Lilly didn't have a good day either. Have a nice nap and you will feel better. Wish I could give you both some nice pats.

kaisquared said...

Daisy and Lily, the girls (Snap, Crackle and Pop) felt so bad they sent you a picture https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t34.0-12/10947867_395073620660473_445861820_n.jpg?oh=b99bb5248c8cbbddaaf6f1f895f00a23&oe=55288E7C&__gda__=1428726819_dede25c7b21bae0310cda7f035448643

Rachelle21 said...

Please don't teach my cats to type. They could teach you how to open a door knob, they haven't learned to open the refrig yet! MJ, please give that dog a Plan B birthday. Sending pets for both dogs!

Grandma Cootie said...

Hey Daisy, this is Pep. I hear you and I feel your pain. They (Grandma & Grandpa of course) are taking me to the vet's every few days now for "injections" to help me walk better. It only took them 3 trips to figure out that if I need injections to walk better maybe they shouldn't make me walk to the car, across the parking lot, to the back where the vet is and back again - duh. So now Gp puts one of my big pillows in the cart and pushes me. Thank. You. At least they've added a little variety to the food choices around here since I lost some weight. Tell Lily to get lots of sleep. I know about the tooth torture too.

Hint: try a sadder face than the one in your picture and combine it with a little whining/howling/growling/moaning combo I've come up with lately. That gets their attention real fast.

xoxoLove & Kisses, Pepxoxo

Anonymous said...

One thing for sure...Daisy should get a "do-over" birthday! :) Hugs to Daisy and Lily!

Carol B said...

Daisy, On your BIRTHDAY! Really? You should just act like you are going to pine away (Starvation diet) until your mom and dad give you EVERYTHING you want! That will show them! (You'll have to make sure to steal stuff to eat from Lily when they aren't looking for this to work, probably.) Really, such a bad birthday! If this ever happens again, be prepared to do battle before you even get there! uh oh, here comes Mom.....gotta go before I get caught.....she'll say this was a really un-nice message (Is un-nice a word?) Phoebe, the Shih Tzu

Kendra Prince said...

Daisy, you've been duped. What a shame. It happens to me frequently. So much for having a trusting nature.

Here's my story about how a "spa day" turned into a "spay day." Grrr.

https://corgichronicles.wordpress.com/2010/12/04/the-corgi-chronicles-vol-1-issue-4/

Living with a Crazy Woman,

Phoebe the Pembroke Welsh Corgi

Chris said...

Poor, sweet Daisy...that's not a great way to spend your birthday. I hope you get lots of special treats and hugs to make up for it.

Zena Weldon said...

Ah, Daisy, I'm glad you have the company of Lily. As difficult as it is to believe, I'm sure your family did not intend to celebrate with the kind of Birthday Bash it turned out to be. I'm sure another kind will be coming your way as soon as you and Lily are up to a grand celebration!
My Marmalade started typing on my computer when she was 14 years old. She loved to write letters to the children she knew. I was so proud of her I mailed them. Sometimes she could only write one - seems some people don't approve of imagination and cat talk, or rather cat writing.

Annette Naish said...

Daisy, I am so sorry to inform you - as we get older - all the fun stuff gets shoved to the side. And seeing your vet is sort of a nice thing if you get rewards. Shoot fire, I go to my doctor and don't get a darn thing but looked at and poked and prodded and told to take a deep breath. I am glad you have a soft blankie to help you cuddle and get over the indignity of a crummy birthday.....and of course if you can make Mom feel guilty enough, you will be rewarded I am sure of it.

Kelli Jo said...

Aww. Just lots of love and treats and toys and blankies!! ����

Mary Jane Maffini said...

What an excellent idea, Cordella! I could take more time off that way and just pay them in dog treats. I think you are on to something. BTW, we once had dogs that no trouble opening the fridge. I think they had opposable noses or something. Hugs. MJ

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thanks, Citrine. They are trickling in. Hugs. Daisy.

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thanks, Marina! I need all that sympathy. XO Daisy

Mary Jane Maffini said...

It's starting to get better, Jen. Thank you. Sniff. Daisy.

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thank you, Robyn. You are a true friend. XO Daisy

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Daisy might have learned from her big brother, Smudge. He was a Corgi. That explains it. We do have birthdays that linger on ....

Hugs!

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thank you, Mary. I hope you will make me a liver cake! XO MJ

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Oops. Maybe that's why Mom takes them away after a few minutes. XO Daisy

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thank you, Dawn! Another treat would help with that ... xo Daisy

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thank you, Zita! We like to bark at trucks, so that's really good news. XO Daisy

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Plan B is going well, but maybe I need two birthday parties. XO Daisy

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thank you, Diane. Someday you might be able to pat me. XO Daisy

Mary Jane Maffini said...

They are beautiful! Giving me puppy envy. XO MJ

Mary Jane Maffini said...

LOL, Rachelle! Your cat is probably practicing when you're not looking. That's what we need. More pets!

Hugs. MJ

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thanks, Pep. I sure hope you are feeling better, because I know you pugs like to scamper. I have a little 'stroller' but I'm feeling better and don't need it so much.

XO Daisy (working on the sad face and sound effects)

Mary Jane Maffini said...

It is happening. Daisy will never let us hear the end of this. Hugs. MJ

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thank you, Phoebe. This is good advice. You sound like a pro! XO Daisy

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thank you, Phoebe. I am going to curl up with your story in a minute. Humans can be soooo cruel.

XO

Daisy the Dachshund

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thank, Chris. I am still sad but it's getting better. XO Daisy.

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Some people are so stuck in their ways, Zena. But enough about the cats, we are hoping for a big birthday bash. XO Daisy

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thank you, Annette. I am sorry your vet wasn't nice to you. What's with that? I appreciate the advice. XO Daisy

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Kelly Jo, that's so nice of you. XOXO Daisy

Robert Giddings said...

Daisy: Sorry to read of your terrible birthday, but remember our people take us to the vets so we will stay healthy. I would not suggest running away. I got accidently lost a few sleeps ago and it was really scarey. Some nice people did help me find my way home and I got lots of treats and cuddles, but for a while...best to stay around home.

If I were you I'd make my people feel guilty. Give them those sad looks, deep sighs, you know the routine. I'm sure they will feel so bad they'll do everything to make up for messing up your birthday.

Have a great day after birthday.

Loki

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Thanks, Loki. It is working. I now have three new squeakie toys. One may have been for Lily but who cares, really?

Good advice though. Maybe I'll just hide ... XO Daisy

Margaret said...

Daisy, we are so sorry to hear about your birthday, but do you know what is worse?!? Our Vet knows where we live. Our Mom said it is for our benefit that the Doctor and Nurse come to our home for our check ups; BUT NOW SHE KNOWS WHERE WE LIVE!! Or Sisters (who live in heavan with our Auntie Tieling) hated going to the Doctor so Mommy thought it would be easier for us, since we get sick sometimes after the Doctor. Once we had to go to the emergency room because we had fevers. BUT NOW SHE KNOWS WHERE WE LIVE!
So we are going to make a donation in your name to a charity our Doctor started to help care for feral cat colonies (NYS Capital Region) in our area, it is call S.C.R.U.F.F. and Mommy will put the money in for you and Lily. Happy Birthday lots of love Dharma and Thora

luckyma55 said...

Awww, poor Daisy and Lily. Coco says come and stay with me if you decide to run away from home. There's lots of treats here, lots blankies, and good belly rubs.

Robyn K said...

You're very welcome Daisy! Hugs and Kisses! <3

Mama Cat said...

Poor Daisy and Lily! Even my cats feel sad for them and send their "get well soon" and "double the birthday" reward tomorrow to help make up for it. :-) Glad they both did so well! Fun post!!!

Lynn in Texas said...

Virtual birthday hugs, kisses & yummy treats from the family boxer, Luke. (Who needs to have toenails clipped & won't allow anyone to do it BUT the nice tech at the vet's!) xo

Laurie Fancy said...

Ahhhhhhh, Daisy...and Lily too...Our Lucy feels for you. She has to go to the groomer's this week because we're going out-of-town and she needs to be presentable for company. She's not looking forward to it. :-( I wish Lucy could come over for a play-date! Whenever you're in British Columbia - Fraser Valley area, you let us know... Have a great week!

Mary Jane Maffini said...

KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE???? That's like a horror movie, Dharma and Thora. Mummy said she had made a donation to Canadian Dachshund Rescue for us. I guess we like that. Hugs. Daisy.