Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Christmas Cookies have no calories…right?

Okay, it’s Christmas Eve...not even Christmas Day yet...and I’m already starting to feel fat!

I haven’t gotten to the gym lately ‘cause of trying to get things done and I’ve eaten waaaaay more then usual. So, as I sit here in my oinkieness it occurred to me that there are seven basic kinds of fat during the holidays.

First off there’s cookie fat. This is the most dangerous kind of fat because even if I promise I will not eat any cookies and will give them away, I have to test-taste the cookies to make sure they are okay. And of course I have to eat the cookie dough to make sure I’ve added enough vanilla or almond flavor, or I have enough dough to nut or chocolate-chip ratio.

The second kind of fat is the cream cheese fat. Cream cheese must account for at least half of the calories consumed during the holidays. It’s in appetizers, deserts, casseroles, doughnut filling and any white sauce on any veggie. I think I’m doing myself a favor with those veggies and forget...or maybe just ignore the fact...that there’s cream cheese sauce that kills all my good intentions.

The third kind of fat is the desert fat. This is probably the most obvious fat. I eat deserts this time of year that I never eat the rest of the year.

The fourth fat is the nibble fat. This is the sneaky fat as I just take one little piggie-in-the-blanket, one pecan tart, one Swedish meatball... You get the picture.

The fifth kind of fat is the omission fat. This is where I have so much to do I don’t take that walk, go to the gym, get on the treadmill. You see, I don’t have the time or I’m so darn tired from trying to get ready for the holidays I just can’t imagine doing one more thing without keeling over with fatigue.

The sixth kind of fat is the Just this once fat! When I say to myself that just this one desert can’t hurt...just this one cookie can’t hurt...just this one piece of candy can’t hurt. And all that is true except I do it again and again and again. Oink!

The seventh kind of fat is the polite fat. It’s when my neighbor/friend/relative passes me that piece of pie/cake/pudding along with the story of how she/he spent hours making it. No way can I turn down that chocolate pie with a thousand calories per bite after that declaration of effort.

So there you have my explanation of why I now weigh five pounds more than I did a month ago and it’s not even Christmas yet! I see many days of Zumba ahead of me to get rid of this oinkiness.

I wish you all a terrific Christmas and sure hope you’ve done a better job than me on keeping off the weight this holiday season. If you have I want to know your secret. If you are in my state of oinkiness tell me what you’re going to do about it. I need all the suggestions I can get.

Happy Christmas Eve.

Hugs, Duffy Brown


kaisquared said...

Obvious solution, Duffy, read the Cycle Path mysteries and all that mental exercise will melt the cookie fat away!

Mary M.

Duffy Brown said...

Hi, Mary. You are so sweet. Now if reading just burned up calories that would be amazing!!! Have a terrific Chirstmas. Hugs to you. Duffy

Anonymous said...

Mine is all the polite fat...(uh no...) but it sounds good doesn't it? I fear cheese and all that extra chocolate are my undoing...but I have a plan. I will knock off 200 calories a day and that will more than take care of my diet in a year. In the meantime I swear it's all virtual just for today...wink....Merry Christmas..

Nicole said...

Hi Duffy! Sadly, I can check "yes" to all seven types of fat---lol! I was starting to get upset because I've worked really hard to lose some weight but I do just remind myself that moderation is key and once the holidays are over all the bad stuff (which tastes so GOOD) will be gone again and I'll have time to exercise! On that note, I'm off to make a cup of cocoa and read for a little bit while enjoying our new rescue dog, Charlie, and waiting for my family to wake up so that we can all sit around and watch Christmas movies and eat even more cookies---lol!

Rachelle21 said...

Make sure you fill a plate so it is covered, but only with one layer not many. Or take a smaller plate -it tricks your eye. Or spend your time reading Duffy Brown books so you do not have time to eat.

Dr. Mary Kennedy said...

HI Duffy, I can totally relate to this, great blog!

Annette said...

My reasoning is, "Well I don't drink alcohol. It makes me giddy, sleepy or sick." So, I'll have another cookie, please.

Unknown said...

My favorite cream cheese cookies are taking a double hit, or maybe it's a half hit.

Grandma Cootie said...

Hey Duffy, I'm with you with all 7! Plus I broke my foot in September. So much for the get-in-shape-with-the-trainer idea. Didn't realize it was broken until November, now in the big boot, so getting back to exercise has to wait until mid-January. Or maybe I'll have to wait to return to the gym until I lose some weight ;-).

Duffy Brown said...

Oh, Marilyn, I do so much of the polite fat. I think my New Years resolution is to knock it off. LOL The 200 calorie idea is perfect. Thanks for the tip.

Georgette Tarnow said...

And I have the eighth fat – the 'imperfection fat" -- broken cookies that I can't give away; trying to put too much in a container so' I'll just eat that little bit that doesn't fit'; the misshapen piece of candy that I can't serve to guests; and, of course, licking the spoon. Sorry I'm no help! Merry Christmas!