Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Pets are the Best!

They are our constant companions, love us when we’re bitchy and in our sloppy PJs with no hair combed and when we have the flu. And they train us really well.
And here I thought we were supposed to train them! Ha!

Pet joke:  What side of the door does the cat like to be on? The other side. That’s why I jump up and down the whole blasted night while trying to watch TV to let my cat in and out of the porch. Am I a well trained owner or what!

And then there’s the food issue. Every three days I bake my cat chicken thighs. Not breasts or legs or wings...but thighs. Then cut into small pieces and served room temp. Not cold and not hot.

And then we have the water glass issue. Know that snotty white cat on TV who eats his kibble out of a crystal glass...that’s my cat’s water bowl. Good grief.

I have two cats at the moment, Pixel and Spooky. Pixel was supposed to be for my son, a gift from my daughter. Yeah, right. We all know how the pet for the kid thing works...parents get the pet! And I got Spooky out of the grocery store parking lot. He was living in the cart area. I herd this pitiful meow and suddenly had a new cat in my life.

If I didn’t have cats I’d have a dog. I know they are more work but they are always happy. Something about a wagging tail will cure any depression. A gift from the pet gods.

In the Consignment Shop Mysteries we have Bruce Willis and in Demise in Denim out in April he and Reagan have an anniversary. Here’s an excerpt to give you a feel of how they feel about each other.

“I have a prezzie for you,” I sing-songed to BW now wagging his tail as we crossed KiKi’s front yard that butted up to mine. I opened the backdoor of Cherry House, went to the fridge and pulled out a little white box and headed for the front porch, BW’s nail tapping across the hardwood floor as he followed me. We sat together on the top step and I opened the box.
“Do you remember what today is?” I took a chicken McNugget from the box and split it in two. I popped half in my mouth and fed the other to BW.
“One year ago you and I became BFFs. I was in a bad way and you weren’t any better. We’d both been abandoned. You were hiding under this very porch though then there wasn’t a hole the roof. I shared my McNuggets with you.” I broke another one in half. “I’d just opened the Prissy Fox. I needed money to keep Cherry House going and I had a closet full of designer clothes I didn’t need since Hollis the now ex kicked me to the curb for Cupcake the now dead.”
BW only seemed marginally interested in my sentimental walk down memory lane. I kissed him on the snout and he gobbled a McNugget right from the box. “So here we are, just the two of us, one year later. Any chance you’ll start doing the laundry any time soon?”
I got an eye roll I swear I really did.
BW chomped two nuggets right out of the box.
“Are you happy?”
This time I got a burp and doggy head in my lap. I took that as a yes.

In Geared for the Grave there are two cats, Bambino and Cleveland. Next week you’ll hear from them.
Tell me about your pet and I’ll give away two Geared for the Grave totes from the answers.

Have a barking-good Wednesday.

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