Thursday, July 31, 2014

Outwitting humans: a guide for common household objects




Welcome! Today we’ll start with a salute to single socks.  Look at you go!  Of all household objects, socks seem to have the most ambition, know how and cunning.  Although, we feel a certain sadness for the partners left behind, we know that all you escaped single socks will find adventure and happiness in your new lives. 

They're lonely, sure, but it's the price to be paid.

  Nothing ventured. Nothing gained.  We imagine you doing well.

For escaped socks, life is one long party: martinis, candlelight, you name it.


Then all you sunglasses must not be overlooked, because for sure the humans will get bent out of shape finding you.  Here’s a suggested exercise: edge yourself up to something that will provide a bit of camouflage.  See here's a tricky pair of sunglasses disappearing into the black cushion.  The human will hunt and hunt and will be very lucky to find you before someone sits on you.  Be careful!  This is great practice working up to making a break for it at the grocery store or the bank.  If you are good looking at all,  you’ll never have to go back home.  

They won't be looking here. Laugh your head off!

A similar strategy is the well-known black on black technique: here we see a wallet lounging on a black chair, invisible to the searching eye.  Once the panic has set in and the credit cards have been cancelled and the ID reapplied for, you can make yourself seen.  You’ll end up back in the pocket, but you’ll always have the satisfaction of knowing your power. 



Finally, keys.  You are very adept at getting lost.  Some of you hide in umbrellas, shoes or out of season clothing, but really, to create a storm, all you have to do is slide under a larger object.  Use your core muscles to get under a magazine, a scarf or a book and watch the excitement start.



Sidle under a book and they'll ransack the house looking for you! Too funny for words.

Next week:  we’ll have top tips for all you  passports,  reading glasses and umbrellas.
In the meantime, happy hiding my friends.  I can hear your humans gnashing their teeth from here. And really, such language!

24 comments:

Mark Baker said...

I actually just found a missing sock this last week. I was very thankful since I don't have too many dress socks to begin with, so I can't really afford to lose a pair.

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Congrats, Mark! Where was the little devil hiding? I never find them and I know they're off partying somewhere.


Cheers, MJ

Sue said...

You shouldnt forget the reading glasses stolen and hidden by a klepto puppy. Not sure how many pair she has taken, but its a lot.

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Oh the klepto puppies! I have a friend who has lost a passport, a cellphone and so much more. Of course, those were eaten too. Hugs, MJ

Karen in Ohio said...

Too funny!

After losing what probably amounted to a millipede's lifetime sock requirement to the laundry gods, we bought a frontloading washer. Have not lost a single sock since.

Mary Jane Maffini said...

I have one too, Karen, but still those single socks are breaking out.

Cheers,

MJ

Karen in Ohio said...

Oh, no!!

The worst is baby socks. Those itty bitties would get stuck in the drain.

Grandma Cootie said...

I got that panicky feeling just reading about "the search" - room to room over and over again. And feeling so silly when the glasses are on your head or the keys in your pocket.

Anonymous said...

Love Sue's suggestion that the dog(s) did it! Shout out to Truffle and Sweet Marie, key bandits in this scene (pun intended).
Nancy R

Heather said...

Widowed socks, whether they be lost or thrown away due to holes in the bottoms, make great cat nip toys. ;-)

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Snort! I once found TWO pairs of reading glasses on my head. How's that for silly?

Panic is our middle name around here.

Hugs.

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Back atcha, Nancy, from Daisy and Lily, the real life inspiration for Truffle and Sweet Marie (as you know!)

Xo MJ (still waiting for my friend)

Mary Jane Maffini said...

That's a great tip, Heather! Thanks. MJ

Sally R said...

I just finished a Busy Woman's Guide to Murder last night. I already miss Truffle and Sweet Marie.

Nancy said...

My son's keys must be in stitches. They been hiding successfully for a couple of weeks.

Aurian said...

Lol thanks for the smiles! My keys are always in the front door lock, or the handle bar (otherwise my boyfriend can't come in) but now I can never leave the house without taking them with me.
I wear my glasses all the time, trading them for sunglasses or yellow driving glasses, which are always in my purse. I can't remember any missing socks from my self, but from my boyfriend I regularly have an uneven amount to hang. Hmmm.

Mary Jane Maffini said...

Mean little things. keys. Hugs, MJ

Mary Jane Maffini said...

So now you know about the socks, Aurian! Your strategies seem very practical, although glasses can jump right off your face.

Hugs,

MJ

mary kennedy said...

Very cool blog, so sorry I missed this yesterday! Re: missing household objects, I found a cute little stack of my husband's belongings--arranged carefully by Oscar, my cat. He'd taken a wallet, two pairs of socks, a package of Kleenex and a credit card and stacked them behind a basket in the corner of the bedroom. Maybe Oscar is planning a getaway to Cabo!

Anonymous said...

I lost my credit card a month or so ago. After searching high and low, I cancelled the card. This week I found credit card tucked in the corner of couch, completely hidden.

Becky Prazak

Mary Jane Maffini said...

You better watch him, Mary! That cat has plans for sure! XO MJ

Mary Jane Maffini said...

what a pain, Becky! Those credit cards really like the game of chicken, Remotes like to hide in that spot, but you don't have to cancel them.

Hugs, MJ

mary kennedy said...

Becky, I've done the same thing. I was using my credit card as a BOOKMARK. Duh....

Lynda Turpin said...

Great blog. Missing items can really throw you off. I hate when I JUST had something and it disappears, when it couldn't possibly have gone anywhere. Best example is losing scissors and tape when wrapping packages.

Years ago I had a cat that used to put his toys away in his toy box. I was so proud - until I found that he also put MY things in his box. Anytime I was missing something I would check his box and usually found it. Klepto kitties can be a challenge, but at least he put them in the same place so I knew where to look.