Sunday, August 11, 2013

Confusion, Decisions, Stress But Progress

by Leann

We are finally making progress on the house now that the rain has stayed away. We have the basement and living area framed and I can finally
picture my new home. It is exciting and scary at the same time. But what's really the most frightening is that I'm up. Most of the decisions so far have been made by my contractor/husband.

He is very good at the structural parts of building the place. He is not so good at communicating to me when I need to have other things in place. What order to things come in? Who do we need to line up to do these things? It is creating a lot of anxiety for me, especially since I have a book deadline looming.

Do the tile people do the quartz countertops? Do the countertop people install the sinks? Or is that done by the plumber? Or do they work together? Do the cabinet people work with the counter people? Oy! It's making me crazy just writing all this down. What makes it better is the view that I will have out my bedroom window. Isn't it amazing? And the second picture is the view from our master bath at the front of the house. Lovely trees, green oasis, right?

But Saturday we went to Lowe's and I was exhausted after a few hours. Contractor/husband was wandering around looking at saws and compressors when we were supposed to be looking at roofing. Then, after we left Lowe's, he tells me that the roofers he's already contracted have samples of roofing they show us. Then what the heck were we doing at Lowe's? I'm assuming it had something to do with saws and compressors.

If I make it out of this process with my sanity it will be a miracle. I have asked over and over for a list. Just write down what I need to pick out when as well as where I need to get it. Write down who I need to talk to. I've gone through this process with the windows and the plumbing fixtures and worked with two women who really knew their stuff and helped me immensely. Wish me luck finding someone to guide me, because the contractor on this job has his mind on different things. :-)

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

One of the best ways I've found to get information from someone is to write up what you do know and/or your best guesses and then ask the person who has the answers to correct it. I don't know why, but it usually seems easier to fix someone else's info than it is to start organizing info.

I think for some guys, going to a hardware store is a little like going to a bookstore or stationary store is for me. I might not need anything, but I like to look at what's there.

Leann Sweeney said...

I think I have decided that going to Lowe's with my husband will NOT happen again. He is distracted too easily by TOOLS. He loves tools like I love fabric. At least he has a shop in the new house where he can store all the ones he already has and there's room for more! :-)

Shirley said...

Will you have a sewing room for all your fabric?

Leann Sweeney said...

YES!!!!! In our last home my machine and sewing/cutting table was upstairs and I have a very difficult time with stairs since I developed Lyme. Now, it will be right off the family room with a window that looks out on what I hope to be my "flower, bird and wildlife oasis." Lots of feeders, a birdbath, maybe a purple martin house. Apparently we have foxes, turkey and deer all over the place. Oh, I have ideas ... and lots of them! :-)

Shirley said...

Sounds perfect!

SueAnn said...

Oh Leann! I so hear your frustration! I have a husband that built houses for 20 years.....at beast, I know what hand tools look like and can use a few!!!! Over the years, I have learned, they will NEVER tell you!!! So, I make a list, every room has a page, and every room has what I want in it, and what I want the room to do for me!!! Even from scratch, like you are in right now...then I have it handy and talk about it all the time!!! and make notes on it , IF he says something that is not unrelated !! LOL!! You got your sewing room....you can get the other things done too!! Wait til those walls go up! If you have your outdoors planned with ideas..you can get the indoors done too....When I let my carpenter guy know I am THINKING and planning...and asking questions, he realizes, I AM involved, as he is..only differently. It is a guy thing...weird, I know..but, after 30 yrs marriage...he has become a TEENY bit better!!! And...we plod along.....!!!!!

Lynda said...

I SO love your views. I would love to have a place like that (without all the hassles, though). Good luck with it all and when things get crazy, just remember how wonderful it will be when it's done (way easier said than done, I know).

Melinda Norstad said...

First of all, Leann, you are an angel. Thank you.
Second of all, I've been a design consultant for...about...let's just say...over 30 years. You have my contact info and you are welcome to call me anytime or email me. My cats believe you are a great mom, so I'll give you free advice anytime you need it. They love your books, too! Wish I were nearby for you....back door friends are best.
Third of all, having had Lyme 8....yes, 8 times, with the majority being re-bites, I feel for you. I no longer suffer, having been healed, so I can help you with that, too. As a multi-tasker, I manage to do medical consulting, as well as a host of other things. Some days we just have to pay it forward. I'm in the mountain time zone....and I do better answering calls later, rather than earlier, but I'm due for a wake up call, so anytime will work. Or email me.
I am thrilled to see your house taking shape. You'll feel the fun soon...promise! Bathroom in the front? Calls for medium height privacy shrubs perhaps? My heart and joy is with you. Be blessed!

Aurian said...

Awesome that the work is progressing Leann, I am very happy for you. But I do understand your stress also, and hope your husband will better his life soon and let you know what you should organize. And otherwise, just tell him to do it all himself if he does not get you the information you need.

Aurian said...

p.s. next time he goes to the hardware shop, stay in the car with a book ;)

Leann Sweeney said...

Yes, a list for every room. Good idea. After I get my word count in for today, I am going to do exactly that. (And I should have known better than to go to Lowe's with him! He'd NEVER go to Michaels with me!)

Leann Sweeney said...

I keep trying to look at it that way, Lynda! Some days I cannot look beyond the chaos we are living in now. It doesn't bother him, but it sure is getting to me!

Leann Sweeney said...

I am going to have to take things into my own hands at a time when I should be writing a book! That's the hardest part. All the looming decisions are so distracting, especially because it seems so disorganized. I'll figure it out, though!

Leann Sweeney said...

Thanks Aurian, but there will NOT be a next time. He could stay there all day and not even know if I'm in the store or not!! :-)

Lynda said...

I totally understand Leann. Ever since my dad had his leg amputated, my life has been total chaos. I dream of a day when I can get back to a "normal" life. One day it seems like things will get better and then the next day there's something new to deal with. There are days when I'm so tired and stressed that I just want to run away.

And the exhaustion just makes it worse. My brother's Lyme was (finally) under control after years of dealing with it. Then this year he was reinfected (they live near Lyme, CT) and he's having a terrible time getting it back under control, so I understand the added stress you're dealing with. But hang in there and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Leann Sweeney said...

Thanks Lynda. You have been through so much! It's a wonder you have your sanity! But you are such a caring and giving daughter, it warms my heart. My Lyme affected my immune system and my neurological system. They are just beginning to research neuro-immune problems so there isn't much help for me right now. (it's a brand new field of medicine). The nearest neuro-immunologist is in Florida. Kind of a long trek for a doctor's appointment!

Lynda said...

It's taken a long time for Drs (and especially insurance companies) to take Lyme seriously. My brother was in bad shape before the CT Attorney General helped pass laws that required insurance companies to cover treatments (some can be expensive). Prior to those laws passing, there was even a Dr. who lost his license because he was treating patients for "stage 3" Lyme. A panel of "experts" had said that this extreme stage didn't exhist (of course, they had to toss several members off the panel before they could agree on their finings). There were documented cases where one family had 3 kids in wheelchairs until their mother fought to get them appropriate treatment, and now they're fine. And one young girl had been confined to a mental facility until she finally got treatment, and then she graduated from collage with honors. So sad that lives can be ruined to save money. However, even with various treatents available, it can be a long road to find the right treatment. Take care of yourself and I hope you can eventually get some relief.

Leann Sweeney said...

Thanks Lynda. It has been a difficult journey. When you have an "invisible" illness, so much is given up to the disease. I have had people tell me if I just changed my attitude, I'd be healed. Lyme is a bacteria. What other bacterial illness gets fixed by a change in attitude? I am one with my strep. I am at peace with pneumonia. Um, NO! That's not how it works.

Lynda said...

So true Leann. And the same antibiotics and treatments don't work for everyone because it affects different people differently. I'm sure it's very frustrating waiting for them to find a treatment that will help YOU. Hopefully that day will come and you will be able to enjoy your life in your new home.

Melinda said...

FYI....There are three levels to Lyme Disease. 1.Profound Flu like symptoms. 2.Cardiological phase. 3.Neurological phase. The flu like symptoms present first as the bacteria is coursing through the tissues and muscles of the body, etc.
If you see a bite occur, you can actually watch it as it begins to break free and disseminate into the body over 48 hours...as the initial site of the bite essentially disappears.
When it 'hit's' the heart, you can obtain permanent damage and have cardio symptoms. When it reaches the brain, neurological symptoms will present and can be permanent.
All 3 phases or levels can cause permanent damage, does not always, but that does not mean the disease is active just because permanent damage has occured. It means the effects of the disease will be long lasting. And they can be ugly.
As you may know, the bacteria lives in the synovial fluid behind the knee. Stress can trigger it's relentless travels...appearing as a reinfection. One can also be reinfected by another bite.
Antibiotics are used to treat symptoms and bacteria, to put it into remission....into hiding behind the knee.
Often times, due to the duration of the course of antibiotics, what one thinks is an active Lyme case, can actually turn out to be an allergy, for lack of a better term, to the antibiotics. Symptoms will be very similar to Lyme. A change in antibiotics will help to verify with a fine line. Usually tho' what ends up happening is now a person has candida/a yeast infection that needs to be treated...and those symptoms are very much like Lyme.
On rare occasions the body can become addicted to the antibiotics. 'Coming off' antibiotics causes symptoms that to an untrained individual, my appear as if Lyme disease is flaring, when what is actually occuring is withdrawal...that can linger for days and not be pretty. Antibiotics should always be tapered off if on for longer than 2 weeks...the normal course for Lyme treatement is 30 days.
Permanent damage created by Lyme is as emotionally trying as it is physically. But even some 'permanent' damage can be reversed. Everyday science is on the cutting edge of new technology, new treatments, many new answers. I've heard it said that if a Dr. were to read 2 articles a day, by the end of one year, he would be 20 years behind in new scientific findings.
The CDC is not a clearing house to provide all answers or treatments...only basic info.
There are many ways to eliminate symptoms, sometimes reverse damage, and yes, cure the effects of Lyme Disease on going in the world today.
Also, on the first page of the CDC's training manual for Dr.s, the first thing learned is that ANY vector...biting critter...can transmit Lyme Disease. It is NOT just a deer tick. Not to cause further stress, but do be aware.
How is Lyme invisible???? Those who have or who have had it certainly know it is not invisible. And the folks who think an attitude change will help...nevermind...can't print the comment. I suggest THEIR COGNITION change as much as one who has been exposed to Lyme has HAD to endure.
I embrace everyone who has been exposed to and had to experience the debilitating effects of Lyme Disease.
Keep in mind the American Medical Association has only been around about 200 years. Naturopathy has been around...well...that fruit tree in the garden of Eden...it was the tree of life...of knowledge. Bon a petit.
Just finished The Cat, the Mill, and the Murder. LOVED it! How soon before the next one comes out?