Saturday, June 9, 2012

Nothing to Fear

FDR once said that the “Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

Personally, I disagree.

At least once a month, Mr. W says to me, “You worry too much.”

As we’ve been married 20 + years, it’s a familiar conversation, and I’m always struck by his incredulity that I can’t seem to turn the worry off.

I’m a worrier.

It’s in my DNA. Hazel eyes. Brown hair. Freckles. Worry.

I’d like to point out that FDR might be a smidge bit wrong with that quote above.

I can stress out over anything, big or little. The chicken didn’t defrost in time for dinner? Stress. Son #2 driving an hour to school in a torrential downpour? Automatic gray hair. An EMT siren going off while Mr. W is out running? Palpitations.

Huge fears, tiny fears...doesn’t matter. Hello, anxiety.

As hard as I’ve tried to change, to de-stress, to be more Zen...I can’t seem to do it.

I’m blaming my genes.

Are you a worrier, too? And if not, how do you stay stree-free? 


Unknown said...

I have become a huge worrier ever since I became a mother. Activities I used to enjoy just aren't fun anymore because I worry the entire time.

Aurian said...

I worry about the bigger things, and I have learned not to do that overmuch as there is nothing I can change. I can make my boyfriend make me promise to call more often, to let me know he is allright when the weather is awfull and he is on the road. But worrying over dinner, no, I just get cranky if it doesn't go as I want it, but not worry.

Kristin said...

Heather, I'm a worrier as well and it's genetic in our family. My mom is a worrier and so is my sister. If my husband says he'll be home by 9 and it's 9:15 I start worrying that he's been in an accident or lying in a ditch somewhere. Maybe it's just a woman thing.

Heather Blake Webber said...

Christine, I agree about motherhood. It makes the worrying so much worse!

LOL about getting cranky, Aurian! I kind of do both. :)

Kristin, I've had many of those thoughts, too. Wish I could make them stop, but it's just not happening.

Lori Cimino said...

Oh Lord Heather....I worry if I dont have something to worrry about!!

dollycas aka Lori said...

I tell everyone Worry is my middle name. I worry more now than I ever did and I know it is because my disability keep me stuck at home when I want to take action. A mother's first instinct is to run to their children when they need help, and I can't do that. I have to call others to "run". My kids are all adults know but I still worry each and every day. It's part of the Mom makeup!

Heather Blake Webber said...

LOL, Lori! I hear ya.

Lori (dollycas), that's understandable and has to be really frustrating. I definitely think being a mom makes worrying so much worse. And it doesn't get easier as they get older (that was a bit of a shock!). (((hugs)))

Kristine said...

I am, but I think being married to a no-sweat kind of guy has mellowed me a lot. That and my son getting cancer at 7 & me being forced to accept that life is messy, unpredictable, and completely out of my control. If I continued to run on the worry like I used to, I would've been on meds or committed by now :) Instead, I try to stop and ask myself if there's really anything I can do, if it is life or death, and is it sapping my joy. Hels me keep a healthier perspective.

Ann Philipp said...

I do yoga breathing. There are a few steps to it, and different versions, but any yoga book will explain it, or you can check online for directions. What’s nice about this is you can do it anywhere, in any situation.

Here’s the version I do: Breathe in slowly through your nose and stick out your stomach, so it feels like you’re filling up the bottom of your lungs first. Then pull in your stomach and keep breathing in while you expand your chest and raise your shoulders a little. Count as you breathe in until your lungs are full, and whatever that number is divide it in half and hold your breath by that number. So if it takes six counts to fill up your lungs, hold for three, then breathe out slowly, still keeping your stomach pulled in. None of the steps should be a strain, just slow, easy and comfortable.

Melissa, Mudpie and Angel Truffles (Mochas, Mysteries and Meows) said...

Total worrier here too, Heather. I get it from my mom, she's worse than I am! As much as I worry my blood pressure should be sky high, but it's actally a little on the low side LOL

Haven't found a way to stop; don't think I ever will.

Heather Blake Webber said...

Kristine, I think major life upheavals always help put things into perspective. One of my favorite prayers is the Serenity Prayer--which sometimes helps calm me down and sometimes not but it does bring comfort. Hugs to you, too.

Ann, thank you! I'll give them a try.

Heather Blake Webber said...

Melissa, mine too, surprisingly! And thankfully. LOL. I can only imagine what it would be otherwise!

Dru said...

I'm half a worrier...because sometimes I have to say "I don't care" and the worries stop.

Nancy J. Parra said...

I am a huge worrier-
Yoga breathing- yes,
serenity prayer said - yes,
Muttering I don't care- priceless.
Cheers~ Nance

Heather Blake Webber said...

Dru Ann, sometimes that internal pep talk does wonders. :)

Nancy, I'm definitely going to give the yoga breathing a try. And try not to care so much about the little things (ha!).