Sunday, May 13, 2012

The Gift is The Mothering

by Leann

Happy Mother's Day to all of you. It is my belief that all women, whether they end up having children or not, are mothers in one way or another. What great assets we have. The ability to nurture, to have compassion, to love unconditionally. Those are mother attributes. Even most men possess these qualities, though they might not want you to believe such a thing. It's the female part of them, that x chromosome, that probably keeps them sane.

For me, having had a mother who lost her way, I craved the good mother, the sweet mother, the one who could make me feel that unconditional love. Instead, as an adult, I found myself giving what I so wanted. My first choice of career--nursing--certainly said as much. No surprise my sister is a nurse as well. The greatest joy of my life, however, was having two children of my own. I was determined they would never suffer as I had. I believe I accomplished that goal. They are giving, nurturing, kind and successful human beings. Yes. I know I succeeded.

Giving love in the form of boundaries and good meals and straight talk and always being present and so many "I love yous" comes back to surround me in what I never received. Unconditional love. Does my mother's absence still leave a scar on my heart? A scar is a scar. It never goes completely away. The wound is covered with a different kind of skin, a thick and rough reminder. But covered all the same.

Now I have two grandchildren who know nothing but how to love--completely and without reservation. Kisses on the ipad screen, calls on the phone with loud--"thank you for the pretty dress, Grandma!" I smile just remembering.

Most of all, thanks to my children and to the two people they married. Thank you for letting me posses what I never had. You surround me with love and I am forever grateful.

7 comments:

Adrienne said...

Thank you, Leann, for opening your heart to us and sharing your past and present. Only someone who can put words together like you great authors could express the emotions as you did in your writing tonight. I am so very, very glad you have such happiness in your life since you had your own children...and now know the joy of grandchildren. You are indeed blessed as are they. Happy Mother's Day to you and all...
Adrienne

Aurian said...

Thanks for this wonderful post Leann. And I am truly happy for you, that you children and grandchildren are such a joy. I never wanted to be a mother, but now, at age 40, I am suddenly the stepmother of two girls, one we almost never see, and one who is in my house every other weekend. And I really love that girl (13). I like spoiling her a little, buying her little things. My boyfriend had a horrible childhood, and he is so doubtful about him being a good father, but he truly is. He loves her, he says he does, and he is hurting that he can't be there for her more.

personalised gifts said...

There is nothing that can be compared with motherhood.

Aimee Hix said...

As always, Leann, you cut right the heart of the matter and express what I find hard to put into words about having had an "unconventional" childhood.

Thank you for always being brave enough to tell our story - the children who had to mother themselves.

Leann Sweeney said...

Thanks all. I hope to get some ipad kisses today! The little one just did that spontaneously last time we had "face time" and it was so cute!

Leann

Kate Collins said...

What a beautiful tribute to your children. I hope they appreciate what a treasure their mother is.

Leann Sweeney said...

Thanks Kate. They are very special people.