Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Manscaping the Landscape



So I was out to dinner with my hairy man and a newly single male, when the singleton brought up manscaping. Call this married couple clueless, totally out of touch, because we had no idea what he was talking about. That's why my husband shouted across the table (cuz it was a bit noisy and he thought he’d misheard), “Did you say MANSCAPE?”

I’m positive the din in the restaurant died way down. In a flash, the waitress working a few tables away rushed over, big grin on her face, and began doing some weird circular motion with her hands over her nether regions, while she slowly mouthed, “s-h-a-v-e.”
  
I kid you not.

“It’s the hot new male thing,” single guy said, eyeing up the waitress, who sidled off, recognizing trouble when it looked her way. But to be fair, she brought it on herself.

Manscaping? Who knew? There’s even a special hypoallergenic foil protection unit for sensitive areas. You can buy it here

And it has backers (pun intended). Here’s a distinguished appraiser:
“There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum... It's breathtaking... I suggest you try it!"
-Mike Myers as Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Apparently, according to singleton, it makes the equipment appear larger. I offered to wax my man. He declined.

In all honestly, I like my guy just the way he is. I’m from a different generation. One where the lyrics to Hair said it all:

“She asks me why, I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night, hair that's a fright
I'm hairy high and low, don't ask me why…”

Go ahead, weigh in, I dare you. No, I double dare you!

6 comments:

Nancy said...

So, the "singleton" male brought this subject up while you were ordering the meal or actually eating? Don't know about you, but there goes my appetite. Haha. Where do I weigh in on the subject? The more coverup the better! Anti-manscape!

Liberry Tart said...

oh my gosh, i was thinking about posting a manscaping piece too. My hubby is normally shaved most areas and trimmed in others.
He says to me the other day, "I'm going to not shave my chest but I will shave my belly."
Me- Why one and not the other?
Hubby- You hear of a hairy chest but not a hairy belly. Duh."
Me- Of course.

I'm not sure about the optical illusions, I just know I don't want to meet Bob Marley down or up there.

As for the back... he asks for help very rarely since the time I shaved off one of his moles, and that wasn't even with a straight edge.

A la Chelsea handler, I don't personally like all shaved, but I don't want to lose anything either, like tic tacs or combs.

Deb said...

Nancy, it came up during dessert -haha- guess that wasn't any better.

And Liberry, that is so funny. If I was losing combs, I'd shave him good, too!

Maggie Sefton said...

LOL, Deb. I'm from that other generation, too. I like the "natural" look. (g)

Vickie said...

DH trims up areas, but is old-school and lets whatever happens happen.

I have heard the term manscape from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Loved that show. DH learned to roll towels to fit more in the pantry and that was about all he needed to learn. He already does all the decorating in the house, loves to shop (especially sales) and picks the best gifts. So if he were to start manscaping, I'd be good with it.

Shel said...

Had never heard of this. Will take it as nature gave it...