Monday, May 9, 2011

A Different Mother’s Day


by Kate Collins

Mother’s Day was one of those dreaded “firsts” for me – first one since my husband passed away – so I was not expecting much. In fact, after church, I came home and wept and made my daughters, who were visiting, feel pretty miserable, too, as if they needed more sadness.

But they weren’t about to let me wallow. They had made plans for us. So after lunch, they put me in the car and we went flower shopping. Let me tell you, there’s nothing like a beautiful day and a greenhouse full of lovely scents and bright colors to lighten one’s burdens and mood. We picked out geraniums and petunias and gerberas in bold pink, white, rich purple, and sunny yellow, and spikes and ferns for greenery. Then we drove home, put on some old shoes and garden gloves, dug out the trowels, and got busy.

Two hours later, we had dirt under our nails – so much for the gloves – pots full of flowers, and smiles on our faces. What great therapy! And the bonus is that every time I walk out the front or back doors, I will see those lovely pots of blossoms and remember this Mother’s Day, when my girls and I worked out our grief together and found joy in being together.

Garden therapy. I highly recommend it.

P.S. They made dinner for me, too.


15 comments:

Nancy said...

What wonderful daughters! You helped each other and brought beauty into your world.

Fiona said...

You are so right about garden therapy. When my mother passed away, I planted Forget-Me-Nots and gerberas because they were her favorite flowers. Now every spring and summer I look out the front window and I see the flowers.

Bonnie Mandel said...

This was my first Mom's day without my husband either, I just lost him last Wednesday the 4th so my heart knows how yout heart feels. Prayers and hugs.

Dru said...

I love the memories you and your daughters created.

Kate Collins said...

Bonnie, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my deepest condolences. I recommend that you find a grief support group soon, and/or a grief counselor. It can make a huge difference. Please let me know via Facebook how you're doing.
Fiona, what lovely memories to honor your mother.
Dru and Nancy, I hope this experience helps my daughters in years to come. Loss is a part of everyone's life. Finding ways to cope is so important.

Hippie Mama Kelly said...

That sounds like, despite the sadness, one of the best Mother's days! I am so sorry to hear about your loss, and was happy to hear that you got to spend the day with your children!

Tiffany0227 said...

You are very blessed to have such wonderful daughters. I totally agree that gardening is very therapeutic.

NoraA said...

Those girls must have a very special mom to think up such a wonderful Mother's Day plan. You should feel very proud of them.

signlady217 said...

Due to the road closings in Arkansas, I had to cancel my trip to visit my mom this week. But it sounds like you and your daughters managed to have a good time together in spite of your sadness. That's great.

Diane P said...

As I read your post all I could think was God Bless your daughters for such a thoughtful day.You are very fortunate to have such a great relationship with your daughters-I am fortunate in my daughters too.

I planted my pots last week and their smiling faces greet me every day as I hope yours will do for you.

Amy W. said...

Garden therapy is the best. I also did that this year. We went on Saturday to pick out flowers for my hanging pots and planters. We just had the relay for life on Friday at my daughter's school and they had to make posters honoring loved ones who have past on from cancer and so forth. I had a hard time dealing with it, I got choked up but kept my composure around all the kids that were there. I feel blessed and lucky that for the most part I haven't lost that many people in my life. So getting my hands dirty planting flowers, tilling the garden and weeding was definitely the therapy I needed on Saturday to renew my spirit. I am glad your kids were there to help you with your own garden therapy and create something beautiful that you get to see grow all summer.

Books by Heather said...

Sounds like perfect therapy and a wonderful memory in the making. Hugs to you and Happy Mother's Day!

ev said...

Kate and Bonnie- you both have my condolences on your losses.

Garden and yard therapy seem to be my way of dealing too. I didn't get to go plant shopping yesterday like we usually do on mother's day so today I am doing yard work. yesterday was spent texting and calling my daughter and her cousin as their grandfather died in the morning, at home, after a long illness. It was actually more a relief than sadness for everyone. Now she is on her way home from the west coast for the funeral and stuff later this week.

I'm going to need a lot more garden therapy by the time this is over with, I'm afraid.

Aurian said...

Sounds like a good day after all, the remembrance of your husband, and then the memory you still have your daughters, and they are there for you when you need them.

Linda McDonald said...

I'm glad you and your daughters spent the day doing garden therapy. My mom and I went on a garden tour (12 residences) and we loved getting ideas and seeing some really lovely gardens/landscaping at people's homes.