Friday, April 8, 2011

Crazy Is as Crazy Does

By Heather Webber / Heather Blake

I may have mentioned a time or two that I’m not really a spontaneous kind of person. Keep that in mind as you imagine me and Mr. W at Kroger, doing our weekly grocery shopping. It’s late. The store isn’t very crowded (just the way we like it) but has enough people so it’s not a creepy ghost town.

Our cart is full.

The checkout lanes don’t have long lines, only one or two people in each.

Then there were the self-scanners.

Mr. W looked at me.

Him: Do you want to give it a try?
Me: What?
Him: Self-checkout.
Me, suddenly reliving my glory days as a Purity Supreme cashier: With this full cart?
Him: I’ll bag.
Me: Okay.

So, there we were. I was scanning all our groceries. He was bagging them (some of the best bagging ever, too!).

It took about 15 minutes. There were stares from all the store workers. (I’m sure our pictures are hanging somewhere in the “security” section of the back offices. Our final total: $188 dollars of groceries.

And as we left...a promise from each other that we’d never scan another full cart of groceries again. But I have to admit—it was kind of fun.

Have you done anything absolutely crazy lately?

11 comments:

Shel said...

LOL! I would have loved to have seen this. When the store I work at was Jewel-Osco, we had self checkouts. We had customers try that, but the machines usually went nuts and required intervention if someone got the scale part full and then tried to take something off. So you and Mr. W. must be pros!

kissablesweet1 said...

I can only imagine the looks you got! *grin* Kroger will give you strange looks if you do anything mildly outside their "norm". LOL!! At least you had fun, got the shopping done, and had an adventure!!! Makes shopping tolerable!!

A photo I have says: No I didn't escape, they gave me a day pass. LOL!

Lynda said...

Too funny. I've done the self-check thing, but if I use my own bags (instead of the store plastic), they have to keep resetting it because the snarky voice tells me that I have an "unexpected item in bagging area, please remove the unexpected item". Also, if I have a lot of stuff and need to remove a bag to make room for another, miss attitude (aka the snarky voice) repremands me yet again for not following the rules. Because it's so annoying, I only do self-check now if I just have a few things. I admire you for surviving the experience with a full basket and your sanity intact.

Aimee said...

I LOVE that the craziest thing you've done lately is self-checkout ... oh, and those DP truck heists.

Tonya Kappes said...

Ha! I usually do uscan--only with a couple items. The last time I went to the grocery, it was Kroger, I had a cart full too. I put my groceries on the conveyor belt. I noticed the lady in front of me had a couple and the guy behind me had an armful. I smiled. The lady in front of me muttered under her breath, "isn't this a fast lane?" I looked up and saw the express lane sign! I about died, b/c I get so annoyed with those people who get in the only 15 item lane. I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!!! I apologized a million times and started to put my groceries back in the cart to get out of the line. The man behind me said, "no big deal. Stay here." The checker traded spots with a manager-blushing now! I apologized AGAIN and the manager told me not to worry about it because she was fast and could get me out quick.....

Ellery Adams said...

Mr. Ellery loves the self checkout. He likes to make the bags twice as heavy as the baggers. The last time, we let our kids scan the items. You don't even want to know how long we were there...so your story cracked me up. :)

Aurian said...

That is something new here in Holland too, but I haven't tried it out yet. It is just as easy to put everything on the band, and have someone else scan them. Do you get the "special saving action thingies" when you self scan too? Last weeks we could save for musical tickets. One sticker for every € 5,00, and you needed twenty or so for a second free ticket.

Shel said...

@Lynda: We had so many customers complain about Ms. Snarky that we put name tags on all our self checkstands. My reasoning was that if the customers were going to curse the machines, they might as well have a proper name to call them! So ours were Lydia, Daisy, Bessie, and Vada.
@Tonya: I'm the cashier they call at our store when that happens. I never mind a bit - as long as I have a bagger, anyway. Big orders are fun.

signlady217 said...

Sweetie, if that's the craziest thing you've done in a while, I think you might need to get out more! ;)

I hate the self-scanners and rarely use them. I've worked retail off and on for too many years, and figure it's not my job to scan or bag stuff when I'm the customer! Just sayin'.

Vickie said...

I love this story! I am trying to think of what I've done lately....back in the day..sure..but lately? I'll have to ask my family and coworkers...I know they'll be able to think of something that to me seems completely nermal.

Jan said...

I refuse to use self-checkout. I feel that people have jobs as checkout clerks for a reason. Unless they are going to offer a 10% discount for working for them I say no. I guess it's the principle for me.