Monday, September 20, 2010

Let’s Do Lunch!

by Kate

I was going to write about how I seem to get stuck on certain foods, in a food rut, if you will, for long periods of time. For instance, my current favorite lunch is raw broccoli spears dipped in hummus, with fresh cherry tomatoes and a thick slice of goat cheese, and fresh fruit for dessert. It suits my summer mood. But as I wrote the title, I couldn’t help but think of how people are always saying, “Let’s do lunch,” but never follow through. I don’t understand that.

Maybe it’s because if I say “Let’s have lunch sometime,” I really want to have lunch with that person, and I will call to set it up. Plus, I’m anal enough that if I say I will do something, then I must do it. It’s a matter of integrity. My husband points out that, in the same vein, I have this urgent need to finish things, like crossword puzzles. I will not give up on a puzzle until it is done.

Maybe it comes from the training writers get in meeting deadlines, but I suspect it stems from having a father who could never finish a project. Ever. He’d get right up to the last step, then stop and move onto something else. Like a kitchen remodel that was great, except he didn’t put up baseboards. A cabinet with shelves and doors but no back. You get the picture.

Does the “Let’s do lunch” with no follow through bother you, or is it just me? Maybe I’m missing the boat on what’s really being said.



Gayle Carline said...

Sometimes I think it is just a pleasantry that doesn't mean anything. The person would like to make time to sit down with you over a sandwich and a cuppa, except you're not QUITE important enough to actually DO it. And then, there are the people you truly miss and want to spend time with and you think, "I'll call Mary this week and set something up," and you get to Friday and haven't done it because your life flared up unexpectedly. And half your life is over before you figure out that LIFE = SCHEDULE + UNEXPECTED CRAP, and you've missed a lot of lunches because of it.

Lindy said...

Wow, Gayle, you really got it with the people you want to spend time with... LIFE = SCHEDULE + UNEXPECTED CRAP is my life. I'm a little heavy on the UNEXPECED CRAP lately. For my own good, though, I need to spend time with those special friends.

Sheila Connolly said...

I think it's a code. What "let's do lunch" means is "I like you and I'd like to see more of you, one to one." It may never happen, but the signal has been sent.

Or maybe I'm a Pollyanna, and it really means "I'm supposed to say something nice to you now, so you'll stop talking to me and go away."

Don't forget the air kisses.

Kate Collins said...

Gayle and Lindy, that is so true and a perfect way to phrase it! We do need to figure this out before it's too late.

Sheila, I think I have used the code in both ways, hopefully the first more than the second. So that makes it even harder to know what someone else means when they say it. :)

Linda McDonald said...

I think I've used the code both ways too, but usually when I say it, I really do intend and want to have lunch with that person. I love meeting with friends for lunch.

Lover of Books said...

It happens to me quite frequently that nothing ever pans out. Caus they are busy, I am busy. Life happens! :) I definitely mean to do something.


Kate Collins said...

Linda, I think lunch with friends is a wonderful treat. Which is why it's frustrating when, as Krista says, nothing ever pans out. Life is busy...too busy, much of the time.

Dru said...

If I say "let's do lunch" and immediately put it in my calendar and picked out a place, we're doing lunch.

Sometimes it can used as a "hi and see you whenever" or as everyone mentioned, we got so busy we forgot to plan it.

Kate Collins said...

Dru, I think that's the secret to making it happen -- pick the date right away and get it down on the calendar. I'm going to try to put that one into action. :)

BJ Miller said...

I have a friend who is constantly sayig "Lets do lunch or dinner." When I respond back she suddenly is busy or never sets anything in stone. It drives me crazy that she does this and I would like to tell her that she does not need to feel compelled to "invite" me to lunch/dinner if she really doesn't want to or will never follow through with it.

Aurian said...

Hmm the heroine in Water Bound ate broccoli with peanutbutter ... ever tried that?
I love going out to lunch and dinner with friends, so it is not an empty frase, but a date follows as soon as possible.