Sunday, July 11, 2010

Guest Blogger Deborah Sharp


Deborah Sharp writes the funny Mace Bauer Mysteries. The third book in the series, MAMA GETS HITCHED, came out July 1 from Midnight Ink.


Here’s one of those classic good news-bad news situations. A regional magazine is coming out with an article about my latest Florida-set mystery, accompanied by an author photo. Great, right? The bad news: I’ve just seen a proof, and the author has what appears to be bright pink lipstick all over her teeth.

Some days, you just can’t get a break.

Before I blather on, I must thank the Cozy Chicks for inviting me to guest here today. The Chicks are not only great writers; they’re the nicest gals in the mystery biz. True, y’all.

I knew it was risky when the photographer wanted to come to the house to capture me in my ‘’normal working environment.’’ If it was truly normal, I’d have answered his knock in my stretchy pants with no waistband, hair un-combed, and face bare. Working at home, I roll out of bed most mornings, brew some hot tea and start writing.

I worked as a reporter for 20 years. I know that normal environment or not, anyone who gets the chance to be interviewed and photographed will put a little effort into how they look. Enter my over-enthusiastic use of pink lipstick.

It shouldn’t matter, right? Did Agatha Christie ever worry she had lipstick on her teeth? Actually, she probably did. Or that her hem was hanging, or her bra strap was showing. I think it’s the curse of a being female. Or, at least it’s the curse of being an insecure and slightly-less-than-confident female, like me.

I still cringe when I remember the day I defended my master’s thesis in psychology. The good news: I nailed it. The bad news: After I finished, my major professor pointed out my teeth were speckled with the spinach salad I’d enjoyed for lunch.

Come to think of it, maybe an extra smidgen of pink lipstick isn’t so bad after all.

What about you? Is there some fashion or appearance faux pas you relive endlessly? Or, was there a public appearance where you looked and sounded great?

24 comments:

Shel said...

My husband is relentless in pointing out flaws before they ever see the outside of the house. Spinach in my teeth? He'd notice 1/2 second after it got there. He also hates lipstick, so I don't wear it - and since I'm not going to be interviewed or photographed, I don't miss it. I guess it might be considered rude of him to be so on the ball about that, but as he puts it: "Wouldn't you rather I tell you at home, than someone else after we're out?" Good point...

Andrea C. said...

Ohhh...how could the photographer not tell you about the lipstick on the teeth! Grrr - I'd be annoyed too.
I recently got to work and noticed I had on one brown shoe and one black shoe - thankfully I had enough time to get home and change and get back before the day start -whew! :)

Dru said...

One time I got dressed in the dark and grabbed a shirt from the closet. When I got to work, I saw that not only was the shirt inside out, but I still had the store tags on.

Deb Baker said...

Thanks for visiting, Deborah. I love your books!

In the pantie hose days, I came out of a public restroom with the back of my skirt tucked into the top of my pantie hose. Walked a ways, too.

signlady217 said...

Fashion faux pas? Waaay too many to mention. I graduated in '82, so that says it all! (What were we thinking?!!)

Heather Webber said...

Hi Deborah! So glad you're here. I love the Mama books and can't wait to read this one.

Fashion faux pas? Me? Well, okay, only a dozen or so. I especially hate when I sit in something icky while wearing light colored pants... Ugh. It's gotten to the point where I won't even buy white pants/shorts/skirts anymore.

Deborah Sharp said...

Hi, there y'all... ooh, Deb... I've done that panty hose number, too, along with TP sticking to the bottom of my shoe!
Dru Ann and Andrea: Thanks for commenting ... makes me feel better that everyone goes out dressed at less than their best at some time.
and, Shel ... can I borrow your husband? Mine never notices ANYTHING. I could literally go out with my skirt bunched into my undies, mascara all over my cheeks, and a possum on my head, and Kerry would hand me his wallet, keys and cell phone, and say: Could you put these in your purse?

Mare F said...

I'm right there with the pantyhose. For 20 years of wearing it I had never once tucked my skirt into my pantyhose until a woman that I worked with mentioned that she had done it. I worked at a newspaper on the west coast and when my coworkers pointed out the fashion faux pas I quicky spun around to hide my tush from them only to show it to everyone in the lobby and advertising dept. Not my finest moment. LOL

Babs said...

Deborah so glad you are here. I have done the panty hose drama along with the rest of you glad I don't have to wear those anymore ha. When I was working at the police department I had to go in late one night. I got to work and noticed everyone calling me T Hightower instead of just Hightower. I knew my husand wasn't on duty yet as he was still at home sleeping. I went a few more hours until I went to the bathroom and noticed I was wearing my husbands name tag instead of mine.

Rural View said...

I arrived at work one morning wearing my husband's shirt instead of the blouse I thought I had put on. Everyone else thought it was very funny. Arrrgh! My beloved great aunt did the skirt in the pantyhose thing at a formal affair when she was wearing a gorgeous long gown. Thankfully I saw her before too many others did, and walked her back into the ladies room.

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Deb, I'm right there with you! I've worn two different shoes before--now in my defense I'll point out that the shoes were similar styles, but 2 different colors. :) Ohhh...I was so embarrassed when someone pointed it out!

Deborah Sharp said...

Hi, there ... thanks for the fun comments and faux pas examples. Sign Lady: you dressed in the 80s? Nuff said.
Heather: I get the stains on white clothes, but how 'bout that nice linen fuzz from white napkins when you're wearing black? A blizzard!
Mare: Couldn't you have pretended you MEANT to wear your skirt that way ;-) ?
Babs: Thanks for the nice welcome (and better to wear your hubby's nametag than his uniform!)
RuralView: So sweet that you rescued your poor aunt from public humiliation.
Elizabeth: You seem SO pulled together, I can't even imagine you pulling a faux pas!

Leann Sweeney said...

Thanks for stopping by today, Deborah! Loved your post but I am not admitting to anything in the faux pas department. My characters make those mistakes, not me. (yeah, right!)

Shel said...

So if y'all don't wear pantyhose under dresses, what DO y'all wear? I can't stand heels with bare feet, and my legs need the camouflage provided by pantyhose! Is there some secret I'm missing?

Linda Leszczuk said...

Oh dear - no one else has mentioned mine. Am I alone on this one? Got dressed in dim light (so as not to wake sleeping spouse) and discovered way too late that my colored bra showed up beautifully under my lighter colored shirt.

Annette said...

Hi Deborah,
Your Mama books are way up there on my TBR list. I once went to work in my favorite, old paint splattered house shoes, 10 year old Birkenstocks. My feet were so comfortable all day.

Shutterbug said...

As an elementary school librarian, it doesn't matter if I show up looking like a New York fashion model - trust me the kids will find something wrong. Shortly after I had my hair permed one kindergarten student asked me if it was "Crazy Hair Day". Another student kept insisting I had on too much eyeliner on a day I was not wearing any - in fact I never wear eyeliner. One enterprising young fifth grader clued into the fact that I had lost a great deal of weight since the beginning of the year and proceeded to comment about how I was wasting away. Since I don't give grades in the library, I'm not sure what he was after - but it was funny. If you ever need to be humbled, just spend an afternoon with elementary students. But be sure to bring your thick skin with you.

Vickie said...

Deborah: I luh-huvved MAMA DOES TIME and can't wait to read the rest of the series. Poor Mace and I adore Mama.

*grin* @ Linda, I've done the same thing with the light shirt and darker hued bra...which looked even better after getting caught in a rainshower while shopping....

I have a constant phobia of missing a boogy after blowing my nose or forgetting to zip my pants when needed. Or a hole in the leggings at the gym when doing the workout on what I call the ob/gyn chair..the one that works the adductors and abductors.

Kathleen Ernst said...

I try to travel with dark colored clothes since I'm so prone to getting things smudged. And I never, ever let photographers come to my home. The tidying up I'd have to do....

Cozy in Texas said...

Too many to mention but all the comments brought back embarrasing memories.
Ann
Cozy In Texas

Lover of Books said...

I did the whole panty hose thing when I was 14 and on an airplane coming out of the bathroom. Yeah, not my brightest moment. But I can laugh about it now.
Krista

Lindy said...

I was on my way to a swearing-in where the President, Secretary of State, and several other high level officers were in attendance. I stopped by the restroom on the way to freshen up as my last stop on the way to the auditorium. I happened to glance back on my way out the door and saw my fanny perfectly framed by my skirt. I'm so glad for that glance--I told folks I almost mooned the President!

Deborah Sharp said...

Just wanted to weigh in one last time (Am I like that last party guest who refuses to leave?)
Leann: thanks so much for inviting me. Your readers are the greatest.
Lindy, Krista ... seems like skirt and p-hose are a running theme. Yikes!
Ann, don't you love those embarrassing memories? Love the fact so many of us share them?
Shutterbug: I laffed so hard at your elem. school kids ... I had some ask me once why all the teeth in my mouth were black when I sang. They were looking at my fillings.
Kathleen: you're a sweetie for stopping by!
Vickie: thanks for the nice words (and your fears of possible faux pas make mine look tame!)
Annette: wouldn't be great if we could ALWAYS wear those kind of shoes?
And, Linda ... that dark bra, light blouse is the look the kids WANT to wear these days?

Laineshots said...

I love all these comments... oh,the pitfalls of being human! Lindy, I love yours. Great reminder to check before leaving the ladies' room.

Many years ago, at a church swim party, I borrowed a suit from the hostess which was a bit tight on top. I swam the length of the pool, popping up right in front of the pastor, who glanced down--and turned a deep red. You guessed it...I had popped completely out the top.