Monday, February 22, 2010

Tiger, Tiger, Burning Bright



I may be going out on a limb to say this but I just didn’t buy Tiger Wood’s apology. It seemed too, well, staged. Rehearsed. Maybe ghost written. Yes, I know Tiger is a great golfer. I know that his personal life should be separated from his professional career. I know he has a great many fans. But I can’t get over the feeling that he put himself out there for us to see, ponder, and watch the TV talking heads debate endlessly, so can we really separate the two Tigers? Should we separate them?

I applaud his efforts to clean up his act, if indeed, he’s sincere. I congratulate him on his courage to go in front of the cameras to do so. I truly hope he learned his lesson. I hope his marriage can be repaired and his family kept intact. I hope he does go back to golf. And we know he’ll make loads of money.

And yet.... what kind of message does that send to young people? Satisfy your urges no matter what the cost to those close to you, repent later, and resume your life as though nothing ever happened? How many of our politicians and athletes have been in similar situations and had no repercussions whatsoever? Wives smiling bravely by their sides, careers moving forward with barely a ripple. What kind of lessons are our future politicians/sports stars learning?

I really admire Jenny Sandford for taking a stand. She wasn’t about to pretend she accepted her husband’s infidelity just so his career wouldn’t be damaged. Yay! Finally a woman my daughter can admire. Of course, to be fair, there are no young children affected in their divorce, as there would be in Tiger’s situation. I can’t help wondering, though, what Elan Woods will do.

I heard a psychologist on TV say that if she chose to stay with Tiger, his hell would be ending and hers would be just beginning. What a terrible dilemma for her to be in.

What’s your take on situations like Elan’s. Should women stand by their men no matter what?


Kate, still pondering the matter

14 comments:

Jessica said...

I think that she has a motherly obligation before a wifely obligation. Do whats best for the children, then do whats best for her. Hopefully, the two "bests" are the same but that's not always the case.

Gayle Carline said...

I think it's a complex situation that can only be determined case by case. One marriage can heal from this; another can't. Small children make a big difference as well. I feel horrible for the entire family. Yes, he broke his vows, he was a dog, I get it. If he's willing to change, let him. If his wife is willing to get past it all, let her. But what do they and their kids do with all the tabloid fodder that will float around on the Internet for the rest of their lives?

Mason Canyon said...

That's a hard one to ponder. I guess each case has different reasons for staying and for separating. In Elan's case, she's have to have known her life (no matter what was happening) was going to be in the spotlight from now on. That in itself would be a hard choice for me. Wish them all well, especially the kids.

Sheila Connolly said...

It's depressing in this modern world that the family's economic status has to enter the equation. That's moot in Tiger's case, since there should be plenty of money to go around if Elan wants to walk away, but there are plenty of instances in which splitting up would be a financial hardship on both parties. The question comes down to, are you better off apart or together?

Let's hope the kids are too young to understand what's been going on, although they will someday in the future. And do we believe that Tiger can fight off the temptations that will face him when and if he goes back to major tournament golf? (Can we hope that golf groupies will be good enough to stay away from him? How likely is that?)

Katie said...

truthfully, I think one infidelity can be forgiven. multiple? hell no.

she should walk away, start over. make a good life for her kids where they don't see their dad cheating on their mom. if they continue to see him sleeping around, that's on him.

Sarah said...

I agree that the children's interests should come first, whether that means staying in the marriage or not. But it's going to be really tough on Elan either way, I would imagine.

Sarah

Sheery said...

While I whole heartedly agree that the interests of the children need to come first - I also feel strongly that Elin's self respect needs to be considered. Can she go back to Tiger after all that he has done and still look at herself with respect? In the long run (and probably short, too) - how she feels about herself will have some effect of their children.

Personally, I'd leave and take my children with me and my husband knows this. I feel like I'd be setting a terrible example for my daughters by staying with a cheating man. I would never want my girls to settle for being treated this way - so why would I show them that?

That being said - my heart goes out to Elin and her children. And even Tiger a tiny bit but he did make his bed so I only feel minutely sympathetic for him.

signlady217 said...

IMO, I think Tiger Woods' is more sorry about getting caught than about what he actually did. Whatever Elin decides to do, this will affect the rest of her life and her kids' lives, which is really sad.

And I'm glad Jenny Sandford had the courage to not "stand by her man". Again, that's not an easy decision to make. No one has the right to treat people that way and then expect that everything will go on "business as usual".

Andrea C. said...

I believe Tiger is sorry...for getting caught!! I don't think actually regrets his actions - just that the got him in trouble!

I agree Kate..just to scripted and emotionless....

Leann Sweeney said...

Having watched and admired Tiger Woods for years (I even subscribe to his website)this whole thing has been a surprise (not a shock)and I think very complex. He had a cheating father and I would imagine his upbringing, where he was totally focused on becoming a superstar, made him a good candidate for utter failure when it came to relationships. And his rocket to fame at a very young age only compounded that. That much fame is isolating. Creating a good marriage is the hardest work I've ever done--and it's still far from perfect. I know I was clueless on how difficult it would be. I saw a different Tiger on Friday than I have ever seen. He seemed broken, and I think that's what had to happen for him to become a better person. And the words that stuck with me, that seemed to hit the nail on the head, were that he felt "entitled." He's the same age as my kids and I saw so much entitlement in that generation when their friends were around. It's sad, it's complicated and as someone said, every relationship is unique. I have the feeling that Elin is a smart woman. Tiger has to find his path, but she has to figure out if the relationship is worth all the work ahead.

Thanks for your question, Kate!

Kate Collins said...

I think we all share the same feelings about and for Elan/Elin. (Can't remember which it is!) This is going to be way harder for her than for Tiger. Anyone who grows up being taught to feel special -- how can they ever get rid of it? God bless them. I hope it all works out for the best.

Maggie Sefton said...

Trust once destroyed is hard to restore. It'll be interesting to see what Elin decides and how Tiger Woods chooses to live his life---and his fame.

Mardel said...

It's hard to believe anyone that's in the public eye. Especially when you know they've had the publicity maching working with them, they've lied previously, it's obvious that they NEED to apologise, etc. I would respect much more anyone that just straight up said "I made a mistake" - and then went from there. But everyone is so afraid of being sued, liable for this or that. It's disgusting what those in the limelight believe that have to do to keep in the favor of the public. All they really do is lose the respect of people.

Elizabeth said...

I think she should leave him, try to get on with her life and focus on the children. And you know what, if they are meant to be together, they will find their way back to each other sooner or later.