Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Opposite Bucket List

by Leann
We all have things we want to do before we go to that great beyond. But I have learned there are benefits to aging that I never thought about until recently: those things that I will never have to do again.

Wear pantyhose. You heard me.

Never, ever, ever. Oh, and you can add high heels to this. They go together.

Brussels Eat things I dislike intensely--like Brussels sprouts or cod liver oil. Did your mother make you eat those abominable things?

Sit on Santa's lap. I always found that creepy as a kid. So why did I march my kids up to the fake old guy at the mall? You got me.

Read any serial killer book. I'm done with those and in fact, the last one I read not too long ago led me to ponder this "Opposite Bucket List."

Finish a book I don't like. There was a time I thought I had to finish. Not anymore.  Time is too precious to waste it on a book that just doesn't satisfy me.

Send out query letters--also known as "invite rejection." If I am ever dropped by my agent and/ or publisher, I will not go down that road again. I love writing, but I have plenty of things to do other than to make myself miserable.

Breast feed. I know. Some of you loved it. Not me, but I did it anyway.

Wear mascara. I'm allergic. It makes my eyes sting and my head hurt and yet for years I wore it anyway. Why? Who was I wearing it for? Silly me.

Watch Jay Leno. You know why. (But if you still like him, I understand. I forgive you.)
List
Buy staples. I've been to Sam's Club and bought a four pack. That's 20,000 staples, people. Do you think I'll run out any time soon?

What about you? What's on your "Opposite Bucket List?"

28 comments:

Dave Chaudoir said...

This is a great idea, and I have started something similar within the last year... not doing things I don't want to and which are not necessary for me to do. Some have accused me of becoming "set in my ways," but since I'm in my early 30s, I'm not sure if that's the case. Anyway, whatever ya want to call it, I'm in... it all falls under the category of "life is too short!"

My list of I will never have to do again:

1. Succumb to the obligations of technology, i.e. cell phones, email, Facebook, etc. I do not have to answer, email or friend anyone I do not want to, and I don't need to explain it to anyone my reasons "why."

2. Eat food that is "bad," in whatever sense that entails. Whether it's food I cook or paid hard earned cash for, I'm not filling my body with it if it tastes bad, is not prepared correctly, or whatever. Life is too short.

3. Apologize for everything. My name is David and I am an over-apologizer. This phenomenon has created in me a debilitating reserve, which is not tenable. So, sorry, but... wait, not sorry! NOT SORRY!

These are a few of mine. And, I'm afraid you'll probably have to buy staples again.

p.s.-I love Brussels sprouts! :)

Lorna Barrett said...

David, you made my day. I love Brussels sprouts, too! A bunch of cozy authors are going to get together at some point in the future and have it out over a volley ball game. (This was suggested by Cleo Coyle of the Coffeehouse Mysteries.) I'm at the net because I'm taller; Cleo will serve for the GOOD team (that loves them) and Leann will be on the OTHER SIDE. If it's an exhibition game, we'll paint the ball green.

But I'm with you 100%, Leann, when it comes to pantyhose and heels. And serial killer books. I have so many boxes of staples, I may not need to buy anymore, either.

Kaye said...

Pantyhose! YES, YES and Yes, I am right there with you. I am never ever going to wear those blasted things again as long as I live. Actually, I don't think I have a pair of high heels left. If I don't want to do something, I just say so. If someone doesn't like it, I don't feel bad anymore. It's just tough taffy for them. oh, yeah, I hardly ever iron anymore, especially tablecloths. Nope, not doing it.

Dave Chaudoir said...

With three sisters and a mother (and no brothers, just me and my dad!), I heard so much about pantyhose growing up to be thankful to have been born male!

Lorna, can I ref the game? OK, I guess I'm biased, I'll just have to cheer for the Brussels team (this has absolutely nothing to do with my Belgian heritage, either!). It would be the first volleyball game ever to serve sprouts instead of popcorn (at least to our side!).

I only have one major vegetable hang-up, and that is BEETS. But I ate part of a cold pickled one the other day, and it wasn't that bad. Much better than the cooked ones of old. EWWWWWWWW!

signlady217 said...

I was one of the lucky ones. Mom didn't make me eat stuff I really couldn't stand, eg., yellow squash, beets, Brussels sprouts, fried okra, eggs (although I do like those now), green peas, and I'm sure there were more.

This last year or two I've finally been able to "just say no" and not feel guilty about not giving an explanation why. Most of the time it's because I just don't want to (but they don't always need to know that!)

Like you said, life is too short to waste on things/people that don't fit with your life's path.

And, BTW, does anyone else think January 2010 went by way too fast?

Anonymous said...

I never again have to have sex with my (soon to be) ex-husband. TMI? And I like Brussels sprouts. :)

Jessica said...

Leann,

How do I get over the "finish a book no matter what" syndrome? I'm afraid that its a part of me...but a really annoying one sometimes! Things I will never do again include:

1. I will never tell someone "its ok" after they apologize to me. Its not ok, and if it were you wouldn't have needed to say you're sorry. I will however say "Thank You" for apologizing.

2. I will never buy a duck as a present again. (:-), it really was cute though!)

3. I will never co-sign on a loan for someone that is not family again.

4. I will never make my son eat something he doesn't like! ie: Brussel Sprouts (ugh)


On the other hand, I will have to buy staples, because I'm completely out! Unless you wanna share some of your 20,000...but that might lead to you having to buy more and breaking your bucket list!

Dru said...

I totally agree with the never wearing pantyhose and heels again.

I'm not apologizing for being alone.

It's my money that I worked and saved so I don't have to lend it to you and not feel guilty about it.

Dru said...

oh Jessica, I co-signed for family and got stuck paying off the loan; so I no longer co-sign anything.

Mason Canyon said...

I think as I get older I don't worry so much about eating a candy bar or piece of dessert like I did when I was in my 20s. Life is short, you should be able to enjoy your food and give yourself a treat if you want too.

Jessica said...

Dru...I may get to that point yet about co-signing!

Heather Webber said...

I'm with you on not finishing a bad book. Life's too short.

I also don't want to waste my time with people who are obviously using me for one reason or another.

And I refuse to feel guilty about saying no to people. Oh, okay, there's a little guilt, but I still say no.

Anon, not sure about the TMI, but it made me laugh... Good for you!

And hey, I was a setter on my h.s. volleyball team, but I'll be on the non-eating brussel sprout team.

Sheila (Bookjourney) said...

Fantastic post - LOL.... I hate panty hose too.... who created those things?

Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

I'm with you on the pantyhose and high heels! But on the top of my list is never allowing another person to make me feel bad about being myself. Or allow them to manipulate me into being who I'm not.

This is me. Live with it or move on. I have no desire to be you or what you think I should be.

Ingrid King said...

Love this idea! Never wearing pantyhose is most definitely on my list, too. As is not finishing a book I don't like - boy, was that liberating when I allowed myself to do that! However, like some others here, I love Brussel Sprouts.

One biggie on my opposite bucket list is spending time with negative people. Life is too short.

signlady217 said...

Sheila--here's the answer to your question of who invented pantyhose: Allen Gant, Sr., in 1959, at the request of his pregnant wife (according to the article at Smithsonian.com under Arts & Culture); yeah, I just had to go and look it up. Interesting 2-page article there; so I learned something new. I still have to wear them occasionally, but in the summer is the worst. I've tried to get skirts long enough to be able to wear kneehighs instead (just as long as the tops don't show! Tacky, tacky, tacky.) Or just cute sandals when I can get away with it.

Chèli said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chèli said...

No.1 on my list is never again to give/lend money to someone who is fiscally irresponsible,even if they are family or a good friemd. They'll just want more another time and I am not a bank! I'll help them anyway I can but no more money!

I'm on the bad team - I detest brussel sprouts, but there is a good side - whenever they are served, I just give them to my husband, he loves them.

Mare F said...

Okay,first up I'm with you on the pantyhose and heels. I've been scouting new "comfortable" shoes for work. Yikes. LOL. I'm on the "likes brussel sprout" team.
I will not:

spend time with people who annoy me beyond reason.

Volunteer to do something that I really don't want to do because I am really, really qualified for it (here I am taking a page from Heather's list on the little bit of guilt).

Read a book just because it's "good for me." LOL

Lindy said...

I'm not ever gonna go where I don't wanna--never ever, ever.. except for the doc (big sigh). Only wear panty hose on really cold days--they keep me warmer and I can put heavy socks over them on my feet. Oh, and I LOVE brussel sprouts. Try roasting them--they're addictive!

Helen Kiker said...

I always finish a book that I have started but the comments above have given me the resolve to put that on my Opposite Bucket List. There really are too many good ones left to be read to waste my time.

Helen

Kim Smith said...

Great list. Great idea. I had to think about my contribution but I think it will be
"I will never again encourage a temporary employee to friend me on FB esp. when I don't think they are going permanent."

Leann Sweeney said...

Everyone has such great un-bucket list items. I may have to join you in a few. But I will NEVER eat a Brussels sprout. Not one. Unless someone feeds it to me when I'm old enough to be eating only blenderized food and I am unaware. By then, I won't care.

Dave Chaudoir said...

LOL Leann. They wouldn't dare, because karma is indeed haunting.

Maggie Sefton said...

Leann, I love your list. And I agree with you, I don't waste time with books that don't interest me and I do not read serial killer books. They seem to concentrate on women and children as victimes. Ugh.

But----add me to the list of weird people who actually do like Brussel sprouts.

Lover of Books said...

Okay here is mine:
1: never going to finish a book I don't like.
2. never going to eat anything I don't like but be willing to try new things.
3. never lie if I don't like an idea.

misa ramirez said...

Leann, you are hilarious! I love the 'never buy staples again' one. ROFLOL!!!

Re: "Finish a book I don't like. There was a time I thought I had to finish. Not anymore. Time is too precious to waste it on a book that just doesn't satisfy me." I used to be the same way. NO MORE!!!

Leann Sweeney said...

That's Misa and congrats on your new release. I know you'll be smiling all day!