We are a pair of blue-point Siamese who own Vera Van Alst from Victoria Abbott’s book collector mystery series. We think we should own that series too and we know we own Van Alst House.
|Good Cat or maybe Bad Cat|
|Bad Cat or possibly Good Cat|
Can you tell the difference? Would you like to bet $100.00 on that?
We are identical, but we are not the same at all. One of us likes to sidle up to you and sleekly rub against your leg. The other one has nice sharp claws to give you something to think about if you get too close. It may take you a while to figure out which one is which. There are bandages if you guess wrong.
We are known as Good Cat and Bad Cat in the books, but we do not answer to any human names, so don’t waste your time trying to call us. Vera never learns, even though she has been owned by us since we were four-week old kittens.
But Signora Panetone who does the cooking just calls “Mangia! Mangia! We think that is Italian for chicken livers and also for tasty, smelly fish. We will show up for that. If you want us to come around try calling “Mangia!” but make sure you have the chicken livers or fish ready. Refer to sharp claws above.
We actually have a serious gripe with Jordan Bingham who seems to narrate the book collector mysteries. You know her: she’s the one who always wears her high leather boots to the dining room table to avoid the claws (see above).
We would do a better job of telling the stories for sure. And also, in these books, why is there a dog? In what world would a dog be a necessary part of a mystery? Plus, puleeze, does that pug have to be on all the covers? Everyone knows that cats own covers. Fact.
Not only would we be better on the covers and do a superior job of narration, but we feel that the plots would be improved if we had a higher profile in the books. For instance in The Christie Curse, if it wasn’t for the cat, Jordan wouldn’t have discovered, well … we’re not going to say what.
If you want more detail, you can meet us in that dark alley over there with a nice piece of fish and we’ll talk. You don’t need your boots. Honest.