Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Christmas Cookies have no calories…right?

Okay, it’s Christmas Eve...not even Christmas Day yet...and I’m already starting to feel fat!

I haven’t gotten to the gym lately ‘cause of trying to get things done and I’ve eaten waaaaay more then usual. So, as I sit here in my oinkieness it occurred to me that there are seven basic kinds of fat during the holidays.

First off there’s cookie fat. This is the most dangerous kind of fat because even if I promise I will not eat any cookies and will give them away, I have to test-taste the cookies to make sure they are okay. And of course I have to eat the cookie dough to make sure I’ve added enough vanilla or almond flavor, or I have enough dough to nut or chocolate-chip ratio.

The second kind of fat is the cream cheese fat. Cream cheese must account for at least half of the calories consumed during the holidays. It’s in appetizers, deserts, casseroles, doughnut filling and any white sauce on any veggie. I think I’m doing myself a favor with those veggies and forget...or maybe just ignore the fact...that there’s cream cheese sauce that kills all my good intentions.

The third kind of fat is the desert fat. This is probably the most obvious fat. I eat deserts this time of year that I never eat the rest of the year.

The fourth fat is the nibble fat. This is the sneaky fat as I just take one little piggie-in-the-blanket, one pecan tart, one Swedish meatball... You get the picture.

The fifth kind of fat is the omission fat. This is where I have so much to do I don’t take that walk, go to the gym, get on the treadmill. You see, I don’t have the time or I’m so darn tired from trying to get ready for the holidays I just can’t imagine doing one more thing without keeling over with fatigue.

The sixth kind of fat is the Just this once fat! When I say to myself that just this one desert can’t hurt...just this one cookie can’t hurt...just this one piece of candy can’t hurt. And all that is true except I do it again and again and again. Oink!

The seventh kind of fat is the polite fat. It’s when my neighbor/friend/relative passes me that piece of pie/cake/pudding along with the story of how she/he spent hours making it. No way can I turn down that chocolate pie with a thousand calories per bite after that declaration of effort.

So there you have my explanation of why I now weigh five pounds more than I did a month ago and it’s not even Christmas yet! I see many days of Zumba ahead of me to get rid of this oinkiness.

I wish you all a terrific Christmas and sure hope you’ve done a better job than me on keeping off the weight this holiday season. If you have I want to know your secret. If you are in my state of oinkiness tell me what you’re going to do about it. I need all the suggestions I can get.

Happy Christmas Eve.

Hugs, Duffy Brown