Wednesday, July 16, 2014

The Great Junk-food Smack-down

Here’s the thing…I love junk food. Refer to it all the time in my books. Reagan loves Snickers, she and Auntie KiKi are always at the Cakery Bakery, and they are always swilling martinis on the front porch and talking murder. Not sure if a martin is junk food or not since it has olives. 



I’ve read the articles, listened to my doc go on and on about nutrition, listened to my kids preach at me about what I should eat but sometimes I just want a real cookie. Or hot dog. Or bag of chips. Not some fat-free, soy-based health food in disguise. Blah!

So at great peril I set out to find the best-tasting genuine junk food. 

After chowing down on 20 packages of goodies (and probably around 10,000 calories), and deciding that picking up extra Zumba classes was worth it I came up with a list.

Doritos! The cheesy chips are a Super Bowl party staple and a solid companion to a PB & J. The classic nacho flavor will forever reign as a snack-time favorite, but the best part is the collection of flavors like Cool Ranch, All Nighter Cheeseburger and Blazin' Buffalo & Ranch.

And then there’s Snickers!!!!! Holy crap! I am such a Snickers fan. It’s the number one candy bar with more than 15 million bars being produced every single day. That's a whole lot of peanuts — 99 tons of them, to be exact. Pass the Snickers!

And then there’s pork rinds. Not my personal fav but hey if it’s junk food I’m a fan. Take the fatty skin of a pig and fry it in yet more fat. The hot-oil bath balloons the rinds to more than five
times their original size. Pork rinds have no carbs and top the charts in protein, making them hardly a junk food in my book.

French Fries! And IMO the best of the best is Mickey-Ds. There's something magical about those golden tubers extending from the bright red McDonald's fry box.

Though cops in particular get a bad rap for their doughnut consumption, this form of fried dough is loved everywhere. Glazed or topped with sugar, sometimes filled with jam or custard, their most iconic shape is the round ring (though the holes themselves are really great). Despite the number of American chains like Dunkin' Donuts and Krispy Kreme, Canada actually has more doughnut shops per capita than any other country. Yea, Canada!

Moon Pies! A Southern treat!! They come in chocolate, vanilla and banana, and are such a Southern staple that since 2008, Mobile, Ala., has dropped a 12-ft. mechanical moon pie to ring in the New Year!

There are few experiences more American than finding your fingers covered in sticky orange dust, the inevitable result of a cheesy-puff snack attack. Cheese puffs are a puffed-corn snack that also comes in ball and curls. Most famous are Cheetos featuring Chester Cheetah, the cheesiest cartoon cat of all time.

Of course there is the all-time fav junk food…cookies and chocolate chip is the king of cookies…or Oreo! Bring on the milk!

As much as we love it, pepperoni pizza is junk. Delicious, greasy, gooey junk. The grain is enriched, the cheese is piled on and the meat is highly processed. It's easy to see how pizza takes a turn from health food to junk food. But hey, I’m so not complaining.  A beer and pepperoni pizza! Bring it on.

Okay, these are my favs…what’s yours? When you gotta have junk what do you splurge on? Let me know and I’ll draw two names from the answers and give away two of my romance books. Please check back to see if you are a winner. 

Off to Zumba! Oink!
Hugs, Duffy

Duffy Brown
Consignment Shop Mysteries
            Iced Chiffon
            Killer in Crinolines
            Pearls and Poison 3/14
Cycle Path mysteries
            Geared for the Grave 12/14