Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Reflections on the Past Year

by Deb Baker/Hannah Reed

This week marks the one year anniversary of my divorce. One whole year has passed.

It’s had its ups and downs, that’s for sure, even though we have remained friends. It’s the adjustment that’s been difficult. From 25 years of togetherness to singlehood.

Before ‘the D’, most of my time was taken up by a big old house that needed constant repair and a gigantic yard bordered by flower beds that needed to be constantly deadheaded and weeded. My days were consumed by shopping, meals, laundry, keeping the grown kids coming back for family gatherings… until one day I noticed that my life had become filled with drudgery. I’d become a house elf!

Fast-forward to today – I live in an apartment, small and cozy. The yard work – flowers, trees, snow, mowing - is handled by management. Things that used to weigh me down are pretty much on autopilot.

The introverted side of me is basking in aloneness. Writing, reading, long walks, reflecting, planning, plotting new stories, relishing all the extra time I've found.

But a different, smaller part of me is becoming more vocal, asking tough questions.

What’s next?

Is anything next, or is this it?

What is the meaning of my life, the purpose for the rest of it?

I’ve left the "American dream" behind, heading for a new reality with a slightly hazy vision of the future. And I have to admit - it’s a little bit scary.