by Kate Collins
As I sat in a state of pure bliss in a massaging chair at a local nail salon, I looked down the long line of happy, chattering women extending either a hand or foot to a nail technician and began to ponder: can you tell what type of person you are by the condition of your fingernails or toenails?
So I came up with a brilliantly clever questionnaire designed to nail down the situation: (cough)
1. Do you keep your fingernails short or long?
2. Do you get manicures but not pedicures?
3. Do you get pedicures but not manicures?
4. Do you hate anyone handling your toes?
5. Do you get both manicures and pedicures?
6. Are you a DIYer?
Based on my unofficial survey (of myself) here are the results:
1. A. If you keep your fingernails short, you're probably a smart, no-nonsense type and work with your hands.
1. B. If you keep your fingernails long but bare, you're probably a busy woman who has a limited amount of time and/or patience to make yourself beauteous -- and you have pretty nails. (But no sharp points, right? That's so 1960s.)
2. If you get manicures but not pedicures, you (a) pay attention to detail, (b) have nails with no splitting or deep ridges that make nail polish a challenge to keep on, or get acrylic nails, and (c) you probably hate your toes so much you refuse to give them the time of day. Bad toes. Bad!
3. If you get pedicures but not manicures, me, too, and thus I really like you. Don't you adore those relaxing foot and calf massages? Want to grab a quick cup of coffee afterward?
4. If you hate anyone touching your toes, you're missing out on one of life's greatest mini-vacations. Get over it. Toes are ugly. Don't shun them. They can't help it.
5. If you get dual mani/pedi treatments, you have more patience/time than I do, but good for you. Pat yourself on the back when those nails are dry.
6. If you're a DIYer, you clearly have artistic ability and/or are possibly ambidextrous.
Well? Did I nail it?