Happy Mother's Day to all of you. It is my belief that all women, whether they end up having children or not, are mothers in one way or another. What great assets we have. The ability to nurture, to have compassion, to love unconditionally. Those are mother attributes. Even most men possess these qualities, though they might not want you to believe such a thing. It's the female part of them, that x chromosome, that probably keeps them sane.
For me, having had a mother who lost her way, I craved the good mother, the sweet mother, the one who could make me feel that unconditional love. Instead, as an adult, I found myself giving what I so wanted. My first choice of career--nursing--certainly said as much. No surprise my sister is a nurse as well. The greatest joy of my life, however, was having two children of my own. I was determined they would never suffer as I had. I believe I accomplished that goal. They are giving, nurturing, kind and successful human beings. Yes. I know I succeeded.
Giving love in the form of boundaries and good meals and straight talk and always being present and so many "I love yous" comes back to surround me in what I never received. Unconditional love. Does my mother's absence still leave a scar on my heart? A scar is a scar. It never goes completely away. The wound is covered with a different kind of skin, a thick and rough reminder. But covered all the same.
Now I have two grandchildren who know nothing but how to love--completely and without reservation. Kisses on the ipad screen, calls on the phone with loud--"thank you for the pretty dress, Grandma!" I smile just remembering.