Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Manscaping the Landscape



So I was out to dinner with my hairy man and a newly single male, when the singleton brought up manscaping. Call this married couple clueless, totally out of touch, because we had no idea what he was talking about. That's why my husband shouted across the table (cuz it was a bit noisy and he thought he’d misheard), “Did you say MANSCAPE?”

I’m positive the din in the restaurant died way down. In a flash, the waitress working a few tables away rushed over, big grin on her face, and began doing some weird circular motion with her hands over her nether regions, while she slowly mouthed, “s-h-a-v-e.”
  
I kid you not.

“It’s the hot new male thing,” single guy said, eyeing up the waitress, who sidled off, recognizing trouble when it looked her way. But to be fair, she brought it on herself.

Manscaping? Who knew? There’s even a special hypoallergenic foil protection unit for sensitive areas. You can buy it here

And it has backers (pun intended). Here’s a distinguished appraiser:
“There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum... It's breathtaking... I suggest you try it!"
-Mike Myers as Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Apparently, according to singleton, it makes the equipment appear larger. I offered to wax my man. He declined.

In all honestly, I like my guy just the way he is. I’m from a different generation. One where the lyrics to Hair said it all:

“She asks me why, I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night, hair that's a fright
I'm hairy high and low, don't ask me why…”

Go ahead, weigh in, I dare you. No, I double dare you!