Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Opposite Bucket List

by Leann
We all have things we want to do before we go to that great beyond. But I have learned there are benefits to aging that I never thought about until recently: those things that I will never have to do again.

Wear pantyhose. You heard me.

Never, ever, ever. Oh, and you can add high heels to this. They go together.

Brussels Eat things I dislike intensely--like Brussels sprouts or cod liver oil. Did your mother make you eat those abominable things?

Sit on Santa's lap. I always found that creepy as a kid. So why did I march my kids up to the fake old guy at the mall? You got me.

Read any serial killer book. I'm done with those and in fact, the last one I read not too long ago led me to ponder this "Opposite Bucket List."

Finish a book I don't like. There was a time I thought I had to finish. Not anymore.  Time is too precious to waste it on a book that just doesn't satisfy me.

Send out query letters--also known as "invite rejection." If I am ever dropped by my agent and/ or publisher, I will not go down that road again. I love writing, but I have plenty of things to do other than to make myself miserable.

Breast feed. I know. Some of you loved it. Not me, but I did it anyway.

Wear mascara. I'm allergic. It makes my eyes sting and my head hurt and yet for years I wore it anyway. Why? Who was I wearing it for? Silly me.

Watch Jay Leno. You know why. (But if you still like him, I understand. I forgive you.)
Buy staples. I've been to Sam's Club and bought a four pack. That's 20,000 staples, people. Do you think I'll run out any time soon?

What about you? What's on your "Opposite Bucket List?"