Sunday, November 8, 2009

If An Oxygen Mask Drops From the Ceiling....


Most of you have traveled by plane. I think that’s a fair assumption. And most of you have seen the pre-flight video on what to do in an emergency situation so often that you now tune them out. You know the video I mean, in which people have masks fall out of the ceiling onto their heads and don’t blink an eye. Their facial expressions range from totally bored to mildly interested as they don the masks and pull the elastic to tighten them around their faces.

Then they calmly take their orange life vests, which have magically appeared, and put them around their necks, then sit back in a totally calm state, as though such a situation was an everyday occurrence.

The other day my sister and I were on a plane, not paying attention to the video, until I pointed out the expressions on the faces of the actors, and we began to joke about them. We glanced around the plane and noticed that no one else was paying particular attention to the video either. It was then that we came up with a brilliant idea. So brilliant, in fact, that we plan to email a link to this blog to various airlines.

Here it is: Make a comedy video. Show what NOT to do in an emergency situation.

When the masks drop down, instead of bored expressions, you’d see people in full blown panic mode, mouths opened in silent screams, clawing at the elastic straps, unable to get them over their heads. Or pulling the cord of their life vests before exiting the plane, filling up the interior with a herd of orange doughboys trying to get out of those tight little seats and down the narrow aisles.

Then there’s the part of the video that warns about walking past a bathroom door when it’s occupied, in case someone should step out. In our video, instead of the man stopping before walking past the door, waiting for the woman to exit, he would continue up the aisle and when she opened the door, he’d run into it.

Who wouldn’t watch a video like that? Seriously. Would you ever get bored seeing that guy get smashed in the nose?

Plus, it would start off the trip on a jolly note, something that rarely happens, especially when you have people boarding the plane who do not understand that they must shove their bag in the overheard compartment quickly, then STEP OUT OF THE AISLE so everyone else can get by. You know who I’m talking about, Mister. You, the guy with two huge duffle bags that you kept stuffing into the compartments around you (one of them above my head, squashing my small bag and coat in the process), then couldn’t figure out why people were glaring at you.

Don’t you love flying?

Kate, on yet another rant