For the past five years, I’ve been putting off getting my author photo updated. Part of it was just the inconvenience of it – the dressing up, the fussing with hair and make-up, the squeezing time into a crowded schedule. The other part was the dread of seeing how I’d aged since my last one was done.
The other day, it hit me that I should probably not delay any longer. It wasn’t like I was going to lose wrinkles! So I bit the bullet, went for a standard photo session, (no glamour shots for this woman) and then afterward wondered why I’d fought it. The photographer was terrific. She kept up a chatter that put me at ease and fed me just the right lines: Great smile! Perfect! Yes, you’ve got it! Hold that pose! I felt like a model.
Then she uploaded the pictures onto the computer and put them on a big viewing screen. And that’s when it all began to fall apart. Frame by excruciating frame, I had to examine myself in minute detail and give either a thumbs up or thumbs down on each shot.
Who knew you could get a cramp from swiveling your wrist down so many times? Because forty-five frames later, only three pictures remained. When did I start doing the Elvis lip when I smile? Where did those lines by my eyes come from? The lady in the mirror doesn’t have them. Who put that lipstick color on? Surely not me. Someone must have touched it up and added bright blush.
I should have stuck with the outdated photo. Sure, people might snicker when they saw me in person, or laugh at the old-fashioned hairdo in the book, but at least I would have been happily oblivious to the fact that I now channel Elvis and have crow’s feet.
Some people are naturally photogenic. Are you one of them? Do you wish you were? Or are you the kind who ducks the camera?
By the way, if you’re at all curious about my new photo, visit my new website May 1st, the day it launches. There will be fabulous prizes, games, and contests, and even a floor plan of Bloomers Flower Shop. Please stop by. Just don’t curl your lip at my new photo.