Sunday, April 5, 2009

Lies

One thing that I really can't stand is lying. I sort of get the occasional white lie used to protect someone's feelings, like, "Of course I love your new hair color," although I would prefer that you tell me if you didn't.

This week I found out that someone I trusted, who I considered a very good friend has been lying to me (and not just once, but many, many times). I haven't confronted my friend yet (let's call her Mary) because when I do it will change quite a few things in my world. (Don't get the wrong idea--I did not discover my best friend is cheating with my husband. It isn't all that bad). I mean the lies themselves aren't the kind that would really harm anyone and that's the part I don't get at all. They are dumb lies that didn't need to be told--not that there is an excuse for any lie.

The thing about this ongoing lie is that Mary had to have some idea I would figure it all out. I'm not completely moronic, and so to me that adds insult to injury. I just don't get it. I feel hurt, angry, betrayed and really, really confused. On top of it all, I hate confrontation. I am so bad at it. I never say what I want to say and I usually break into tears, so I need your help. Anyone out there ever dealt with someone they trusted lying to them? If so, how did you handle it?

You know what else, I feel really sad about this too, because I know that I can't maintain a friendship with Mary after this. I can be forgiving, but once trust is lost, I don't see going back? Do you? Can a friendship be repaired after a situation like this occurs.

Love to know your thoughts!

Michele