Sunday, March 1, 2009

Things Not to Do When You’re 2 Days from Your Deadline

1. Cut your toenails unless you click when you walk.
2. Play Freecell before you start writing. Two hours later, you realize you haven’t written a word.
3. Wash clothes, even if you have nothing to wear. Hey, you have a husband. He has clothes! Surely.
4. Decide one of your characters needs a different name and hunt through Name Your Baby book.
5. Decide you have too many secondary characters and try to eliminate one, then discover he has too many lines and try to put him back in.
6. Check the weather channel repeatedly to see what life is like outside the house.
7. Check the mail and find a catalog full of unnecessary products designed to make your life easier and your junk drawers full. That you have to have. Soon.
8. Cook. Raw food is healthier anyway, right? Well, except for pork.
9. Answer the phone.
10. Check your email.
11. Decide you’ve been sitting too long and need to stretch while the water for tea is heating
12. Hunt for the Yoga video so you stretch properly.
13. Do all fifteen poses on the vdeo while your tea is steeping.
14. Drink more than four cups of tea or coffee and expect to write with no interruptions.
15. Paint your fingernails and then try to type without smudging them.
16. Keep typing (insert funny line here).
17. Keep checking your page number to see if you’ve gone over/under.
18. Keep thanking your husband in advance for being such a sport about having to (cook/do laundry/shop for groceries/rub aching back from Yoga stretches).
19. Check Facebook and Myspace comments.
20. Check rank on Amazon.
21. Sex.
22. Blog.

Have any to add?

Have a great week.