Friday, February 6, 2009

A New Ending

Did you know Columbia Pictures is remaking My Fair Lady? Rumors abound that Keira Knightley has already signed on to play Eliza Doolittle and that Daniel Day Lewis and Hugh Laurie are being looked at for Henry Higgins.

I know. Let’s let that stew for a minute.

Okay, once I overcame my shock at Keira Knightley (really????), I realized this was the perfect opportunity to correct what is, in my oh so humble opinion, one of the biggest movie ending blunders ever. Ev-er.

Don’t get me wrong. I love My Fair Lady. But the ending…no, no, and no. It should have ended with Henry and Eliza in the drawing room (as it does), but not with him asking where his slippers are (gack), but with Eliza sitting on the sofa and Henry coming in, kneeling on the floor and resting his head on her knee (to echo the line from “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly”: Someone's 'ead restin' on my knee, Warm an' tender as 'e can be. 'ho takes good care of me, Aow, wouldn't it be loverly? ). THAT would have been the perfect ending, eliciting a satisfying sigh from the romantic in all of us.

Yeah, yeah, I know the movie with Audrey Hepburn won a gazillion Oscars. But still. There’s no changing my mind. But now that there’s a remake a’comin’ this is the perfect chance to make the change.

And this isn’t the only movie I have issues with the ending. Let’s take Pretty Woman, shall we. (I know you’re sensing a theme here.) Anyway, let’s take that ending. On the fire escape. With 1) the kiss that should have been reshot (it looks like Julia Roberts is inhaling Richard Gere’s face—so not romantic) and 2) that last line. “She rescued him right back.” Double gack. I’m thinking the movie should have simply ended with the kiss (a nice one, not the face-inhaling one).

So tell me this:

1) Agree or disagree with me?
2) What movies would you love to change the ending?
3) Is "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" stuck in your head now?