Friday, November 21, 2008

Tuna, Clandestine Style

By Heather

Although I’m not a big seafood eater, occasionally I do like the odd plate of fish and chips or tuna. If I eat fish and chips, it’s always in a restaurant, never at home. The reason is two fold:

1) I don’t know how to make it
2) The smell

Any scent the least bit seafood-y is pretty much banned in my house. Never mind that fish type foods are just plain stinky, there was this incident back in the day involving my daughter and fish sticks that still causes her to turn a pale shade of green any time she whiffs anything the slight bit fishy. And she’s not the only one in the family afflicted with this aversion.

It so happens that on occasion I will crave a tuna sandwich, which I’ll never order from a restaurant—it has to be made at home, exactly the way I like it.

This, in itself, presents quite a problem for me:

1) Simply buying tuna earns me disgusted growls
2) I have to make sure I’m the only one home when I make the tuna
3) I have to make sure all associated tuna scents are long-since vanished by the time everyone gets home. (Bleach and scented candles work well.)
4) I have to make sure all traces of tuna are erased from our household existence so as no one will suspect I made tuna that day. (This involves burying the can in the recycling bin and even putting the lid in a plastic baggie before putting it in the trash as to minimize the lingering smell.)

It’s a lot to go through for a sandwich, but worth it most of the time. Especially when it comes with an unexpected laugh.

This week when I went to make my sandwich, I found a little commentary on the lid:

After I had a good laugh, I made my sandwich, vanquished all the smells, and hid the evidence…

Anyone else do this sort of thing? How do you cover up cooking smells? I’m open to suggestions!

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