Sunday, November 2, 2008

Friday Night Smackdown: Hubba Hubby vs. Rude Cell Phone Guy

By Kate Collins

So there we were, in a cozy (read: tiny) restaurant, soft music in the background, one other couple on the far end of the long, narrow, room, when in walks a guy talking on his cell phone. (Henceforth known as RUDE CELL PHONE GUY, or RCP for short).

RCP sits down at a table, putting him roughly twelve feet from us. He orders a drink while still on the phone. He then proceeds to carry on his conversation in a voice loud enough to cause us to have to raise our voices to hear each other.

RCP continues his conversation throughout our dinner, until I think steam will shoot through my husband's ears. He tells our waitress they should have a "no cell phone calls inside" sign on the door. She says they're considering it.

By the time we left, said husband DOES have a head full of steam. So as we pass by RCP's table, the steam begins to leak out in the form of muttered words. "Rude. Loud. Inconsiderate. Ruin people's meals." Then, to our waitress: "You really need to make a rule about cell phones inside, since SOME people obviously don't have respect for others. If people come here to eat, they should EAT, not talk on the phone."

AT that, RCP lifts his head and says, "Hey, I'm eating!" And points to his plate.

Now hubby is really irate. "No, you're talking! Loudly!"

RCP, obviously not realizing he's dealing with a hot-headed Greek who happens to be a criminal defense attorney who has handled some pretty rough clients, keeps arguing. Two of the staff have gathered by the phone, clearly expecting to have to dial 9-1-1- at any moment. And I'm wondering what the person on the other end of the line is making of all this.

Finally, my husband snarls a parting shot and pushes the door open. I know it won't take much to make him turn around and go back in for another volley, so I push him out further and quickly shut the door behind me. I can't help chuckling. Although RCP angered me as much as he did my husband, I keep picturing two big, curly-horned sheep ramming each other on a mountain somewhere.

Okay, the point of this story might have gotten buried, but it's this: Many people simply do not understand the concept of quiet phone conversations, so all you restaurateurs out there, PLEASE post a sign saying that if you disrupt others with your cell phone call, you will have to go outside. Otherwise, there could be some serious head ramming someday. You don't want to be caught in that fight.