Um, this is going to sound terrible, but have you ever received a gift that you didn’t really like from someone you really loved? Now, I am a full subscriber to the “it’s the thought that counts” mentality but sometimes that shallow self residing within me emerges and decides that the end-result of the “thought” counts too!
I have absolutely NO poker face. If I have a good hand, you can totally tell. I get a glimmer in my eye and I start wiggling my right foot in excitement. If my hand stinks, I pout and look cross and am generally unpleasant. So when someone gives me something I’m not into, I do my best to act thrilled, but I’m a lousy actress. (The only role I was ever cast in for a school play was the Dowager Queen in Many Moons in fifth grade and only because I was naturally bossy and could manage a decent English accent.)
This is leading up to the Christmas gift that I think my husband is planning for me. I think, based on a trail of evidence and some odd questions that he’s posed to me (such as “Do you like asparagus, I can’t remember.”), that he’s hired one of those chefs to come into our house and cook us a gourmet meal.
You know /I love food. I think I’ve made that clear, so the food part is cool. But the chef in the house part is, to me, like being serenaded by a mariachi band at the Mexican restaurant or having the team at the Japanese hibachi place clapping out your years at the end of their massacred version of Happy Birthday. It would feel really weird to me to have a stranger cooking for me in my own house. My husband and I would have to conduct polite chatter or totally pretend that the chef wasn’t in the kitchen as we sat in our never-used dining room. Plus, I feel possessive about my kitchen. That’s my domain. I don’t know, the whole idea makes me a bit agitated.
And my poor husband. I know he wants to surprise me and do something cool, so I am going to have to do my best acting job EVER. Even better than when I was the Dowager Queen!
Have you ever been in an awkward gift receipt situation?
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JB,
My mother was the absolute worst gift-receiver ever. At Christmas, my sister, brother, me,and our spouses, would wait for her reactions, because no matter what we picked out, unless the item was the exact match to what she put on her list, she wouldn’t like it.
The older she got, the more she let those feelings show, too. A nose wrinkle meant the gift stunk. A stiff smile meant it was from one of the grandkids and she couldn’t bring herself to wrinkle her nose. A look of horror meant, “What were you thinking!” A combination of any of the above meant, “Did you actually come from my womb?”
I learned my lesson. Give a performance worthy of an Oscar, then donate the gift in January.
Kate
by Kate
on December 22nd, 2007 at 2:20 pm
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Let me say that my hubby bless his soul is the worst gifter for females. I just smile and wait for payday and get what I wanted. This year I took him the item I wanted and said buy this, so we shall see…
by Donna
on December 22nd, 2007 at 6:26 pm
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Have you ever been in an awkward gift receipt situation?
Um..yeah…about every year of my life because a certain aunt of mine can’t take a hint. And last year, another aunt got me earrings she thought I’d like…and I HATE pearls! I have a lousy poker face too. And I had to laugh at the being serenaded at a mexican restaurant reference because I was once…one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life. Last time I went out for my birthday, I threatened everyone with death if they even mentioned to the waiter that it was my birthday because to me, it’s a private thing.
by Traci
on December 23rd, 2007 at 6:35 am
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My mother-in-law always buys me something purple, which is HER favorite color. You’d think that after a zillion years she’d remember my favorite color is blue! And then my 2 sister-in-laws and I get exactly the same thing but in different colors. Even then I get green! I mean, I love the fact she gets me a gift because, truth be told, I DO like presents. HOWEVER, every gift she gives has an “obligatory” feel to it and I’d rather she save her money at that point.
by debbie
on December 23rd, 2007 at 9:33 am
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I was going to suggest re-gifting, but…kinda hard to do in this situation!
You just pretend that you’re in your favorite restaurant — or being video taped — and you make restaurant conversation. The nice thing is you don’t have drive home afterwards, you can just stagger over to the sofa!
by Diana
on December 23rd, 2007 at 1:51 pm
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Ahhh, JB—I can picture this now. And I’m laughing. (sorry, but you’ve written a funny setup). Of course, you feel “invaded.” Your kitchen is YOUR space and you’re the queen.
But—given the situation and the giver—I have to go w/Kate’s suggestion: It’s Oscar night and you’re on. 
by Maggie
on December 25th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
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I have to admit here what a louse, cad, loser, heel I am! The woman cook brought a full meal to our house the afternoon of Christmas Eve. Mt husband said, “This is your gift. I wanted you to have more time to spend with your mom and less time in the kitchen.”
More time with my mom! What a guy!
Not only that, but the woman he hired has been a nurse for over 20 years and the 12-hour shifts are starting to wear on her. She’s just started this catering business on the side and my husband really wanted to support her. I should also mention that her husband is sick and her only son has been deployed to Iraq. She’s wanted to be a cook her whole life.
So…I sure learned a lesson about gifts, but that doesn’t mean I won’t donate the purple striped sweater in a size XXL!
by JB
on December 27th, 2007 at 9:12 am
